Page 94 of Someone to Have
“Temporary,” she repeats, like the word is a puzzle she’s trying to solve.
“Convenient,” I add, then consider throat punching myself.
She inhales sharply but doesn’t turn. “You think this is convenient?”
Her hands are resting in her lap, fingers clasped tightly together. I want to hold her hand like I want my next breath, but I don’t reach for her.
“We’re neighbors.” Might as well go all in on being a jackass. Better than getting my heart broken. “That’s convenient. Youneeded confidence, and I needed a technicality to get around the promise I made to my sister. We’re still friends.”
Is she buying any of this? It’s all true, but nowhere near the whole truth. “Your family has done a lot for me, and I’m grateful for how much you’ve helped Rhett.” Why can’t I shut my damn mouth? “I appreciate what you’re doing today. You’re a good person and a?—”
“Perfect girl-next-door fuck buddy,” she finishes.
My gaze snaps to the rearview mirror, but Rhett’s head rests on the back seat. Based on his chest’s rhythmic rise and fall, I can tell he’s already sleeping.
“Your words, not mine.”
She finally shifts in her seat to glare directly at me, and I give her my most charming smile. It’s served me well with many women.
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“It’s never that way for you, right? It’s why Toby calls you the ‘manwhore with a heart’. But I don’t think you show people your heart, Eric. Charm isn’t the same thing as heart. And play-acting to keep people at arm’s length is fake at best and a lie at worst.”
My palms are suddenly sweaty on the steering wheel while my stomach churns with acid. What the hell? Why am I getting the lecture when she was the one on a date?
I refuse to bring that up because it would reveal too much. Maybe I keep people at arm’s length, but you know what? Arm’s length keeps me safe. It always has. Now is no different.
Taylor doesn’t owe me anything more than what she’s given. Hell, she’s going to a rehab center to meet my sister and discuss how to help Rhett, which is going above and beyond our initial arrangement.
How would she know my feelings have changed? As much as I’ve imagined telling her, I haven’t given her any indication that I want more than our mutually beneficial fuckbuddy relationship.
And I won’t reveal agoddamn thing.
Not when I know it isn’t what she wants.
Taking a risk to be vulnerable is one thing. Inviting this woman to land a swift uppercut to my heart is another. I need to lock down the emotions that keep bubbling up to the surface, and shut down the Pouty Pete routine before I give myself away.
I willnotgive myself away.
“Let’s run through your first scene.”
She chokes out a laugh and then gapes at me. “Are you joking?”
“We can start with the bit right before your solo lines. That part makes you the most nervous, right?”
She nods. “Yes, but I?—”
“You can’t practice too much.”
“Are you sure about that?” she counters.
I make a noncommittal sound in my throat.
“Okay,” she says after a moment. “Let’s go from…wait…you don’t have a script.”
“I know my part,” I tell her. Damn, every word out of my mouth has the potential to reveal too much.
To my surprise, she doesn’t call me out on my obvious bullshit, simply raises a brow. “You’ve got it memorized? Let’s go then.”
