Page 1 of Fallen Starboy

Prologue: Seven Years Ago

ARISTA

Peoplelike me were never meant to have our cake and eat it, too. Especially not when that cake was a happily ever after with a fucking superstar idol, of all things. Kim fucking Seo-Jun, to be specific.

Our futures were vastly different in terms of potential. We were on opposite ends of the potential spectrum.

Or, in our case, the social class spectrum.

I clutched the bundled-up baby in the basket closer to my body and fought back the tears just a little longer. Whatever the future held, I knew this was the only choice I could make to keep her safe. To give her the best chance at a future as I could.

Jun had his whole life ahead of him. He didn’t need me. And his company seemed determined to make sure I knew it. The money they threw at me to solve the ‘problem’, as they dubbed my situation, was no small number. It was enough to support myself for ten years, maybe more, without lifting a finger.

Their reasoning was solid, too.

He’s worth twenty times that in his first two years. In five, imagine the life he could have.

A life where I didn’t fit.

I could leave, sure, but they were determined to not leave behind any evidence of our indiscretion, and that included the one currently sleeping in my arms, unaware of anything going on around her.

Our child.

The one his record label tried to erase.

The only mark on his perfect record.

Of course, eliminating such a blemish wasn’t as easy as washing a ketchup stain out of a shirt, or replacing a broken toy. A child was forever. And once that child was born, there was no going back. There would always be evidence of his imperfection out there in the world, sharing his DNA, one press leak away from ruining the image of their cash cow.

I thought I could just leave, that abandoning him without a word was the right thing to do. But after one too many nights spent sitting around the fire, staring into flames that didn’t hold the answers I so desperately sought in their flickering shapes and colors, I realized I had been stupid.

I couldn’t give her the life she deserved. I could never replace the life she would have had with him.

I could never love someone else like I loved Kim Seo-Jun. And I could never be the mother she deserved.

Sneaking away to have the baby in secret was hard. I went through the whole thing with no support system since telling my family, or his, was out of the question. When I was due to go into labor, a freak accident involving a car whose brakes were cut clean in half almost caused us both to die before we’d met.

And now, after staring into her face that reminded me so much of him, brushing my nose over her soft head, the faint red peach fuzz giving me hope that she’d gotten something good from me after all, after doing all the things a new mother should do with her baby, I was doing the unthinkable.

I had to let her go. Just like I had to let him go.

It was best for both of them.

The Label might be able to bury me and our plans of marriage, but it would be impossible to bury his child once he knew of her existence. Once he held her in his arms, I knew he’d do everything within his power to keep her safe. He had money, reach, power?—

And I had nothing but a broken dream, and my body weight in regrets.

“You’ll be okay,” I whispered to the sleeping baby wrapped in a soft, pink blanket, tucked into a basket like some fucking period drama orphan, tiny hands fisted against her rosy cheeks as she slept peacefully. “He’ll make sure of it.”

Your father will give you everything I couldn’t even begin to hope of ever giving you.

This is for the best.

The only person getting hurt here was me, and that was okay. I could handle that pain, could handle his hatred when he realized what I’d done. I could even handle it if he made an announcement and denounced me for leaving her on his doorstep. I could even handle it if he hated me for the rest of our lives. What I couldn’t handle, though, was the thought of our daughter not living a good life.

And aside from some memories and a smile that would haunt me for the rest of my life, there was nothing here for me now.

The agency blacklisted me in the industry thanks to my pregnancy indiscretion involving one of their artists. Had I just shacked up with the makeup artist and gotten pregnant, it wouldn’t have been an issue. Now, I was a liability, and I could understand that.

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