Page 39 of Ted's Temerity
Ted and I haven’t spoken about how he’s going to handle his next interaction with his friends. It’s not my place to push him, after all. Not about that. I wanted him to stop blaming himself. To stop hurting himself. But, beyond that, how he goes forward from here is all on him. I’ll support him, but I won’t force the issue. Suffice to say, I’ve learned my lesson about that.
“And I have no idea what to say to him, either,” Ash goes on, listlessly dragging a soggy looking fry across his plate. “I mean, poor Ted.”
I grimace. “Yeah, look; that’s exactly what he’s wanted to avoid all these years. Being treated differently once everyone knew about…y’know.”
Across from me, Ash drops the fry and frowns. “But we love him. If we’d known-”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything.” I can say this with finality.
Again, though I know that the end of my dancing career can’t possibly compare to the loss of a child, I understand exactly where Ted’s coming from when he emphatically states that he doesn’t want to be pitied.
“It wouldn’t have changed his past,” I add. “It wouldn’t have changed the years he’s spent grieving privately. It wouldn’t have changed the man or even the Daddy that he is today. All it would have done is make you all treat him with kid gloves that he really doesn’t want you to.” I run my hand through my hair as I try to explain, “All he wants is to be treated the same way as always, and he’s afraid that’s not going to happen. I mean, he’s built his whole life up after everything fell apart – he doesn’t want that taken from him.”
I can tell Ash wants to argue with me, but something I’ve said must have gotten through to him because all he does is bite his lip and nod. “Yeah, okay. I get that.”
If only the others can be convinced.
* * *
The rest of my day after meeting Ash for lunch is uneventful. At least, until I’m locking up the studio for the night.
“Zephyr,” I just about jump out of my skin at the sound of London’s voice. He and Matt approach from where they must have been waiting for me, leaning against a parked car on the street outside my workplace.
Because this isn’t creepy or overstepping at all…
I frown at them both. “Uh, hi?”
They spare me the small talk and get straight to the point. “Ash called,” Matt says, rubbing the back of his neck.
Of course he did.
London pulls Matt in against him in a comforting gesture. It’s sweet watching them together, these two burly men whose personalities seem at odds with their aesthetic. “We’re not, like, trying to get you to take us to Ted or anything.”
I smile softly at London’s assurances. The weekend was the first time he and I have actually spoken to each other and, after seeing me in my dress, it was surprising when he quietly started up a conversation about the best places to buy panties and other pretty things.
I’m under the impression that none of the others (bar Matt, obviously) know about London’s penchant for lace, and I’m honored that he trusted me with his secret. It is that, and that alone, which has me open to hearing them out about Ted, even though I know my Daddy would be uncomfortable with the idea of this conversation taking place.
With a sigh, I adjust the strap of my duffel bag on my shoulder and ask, “So…why are you here, then?”
Matt shifts his weight on his feet awkwardly, like he’s not quite sure how to explain himself. “Just…uh…we wanted to let you know that we’re not gonna get all weird on him.”
I blink.
Really? This is information that couldn’t have been sent over text?
As if reading my thoughts, London chuckles and shrugs. “We were heading out for dinner down the block and…well, I guess you can’t really get sincerity or tone out of a text message. Matt figured we’d kill two birds with one stone.”
“Right.” I’m not entirely sure that I believe them, but they mean well nonetheless.
“It’s just, y’know, I care about Ted. A lot. I mean, our whole group does.” Matt shoves his hands in his pockets. “And, if I know him, he’s going to avoid us all like the plague until he’s convinced this has blown over. But I thought that he might listen if it came from you.” A soft smile plays across his lips as he exchanges a meaningful look with London. “If you’re anything like us, anyway.” He sighs heavily. “Plus, I get where he’s coming from. I mean, it’s not the same, but I almost walked away from the guys-”
“What?” I can’t withhold my startled interruption. A woman walking past our assembled group jumps at my voice and I offer her an apologetic grimace before she walks on.
Matt brushes my concern off with a vague gesture of his hand. “It was ages ago. But I wasn’t in the best place emotionally or mentally, and I started shutting everyone out while I tried to avoid their pity. It sucked, man. And I don’t like to think of Ted being in the same boat.”
Having had similar thoughts myself, I can only nod. “He’ll get there,” I assure Matt. “He tried really hard over the weekend to work through some of his issues, but he’s going to see his therapist again this week because the whole mess has stirred up stuff he thought was buried. Just…give him some time, okay?”
I’m relieved when Matt’s expression doesn’t fall. He genuinely seems to understand what I’m saying and isn’t going to push the issue. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. I knew that Ted’s friends are good guys. But seeing it in action still gives me a little jolt of convoluted emotions anyway.
