Page 18 of Chance's Choice
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that Chance would ever want me in any capacity. But he said that he does. He said that he wants me as his boyfriend and his boy, and he’s proving to be a better Daddy than I’ve ever allowed myself to fantasize about having.
Whatever crush I had for him as a teenager is swamped by the feelings building in me. I’ve never not had feelings for Chance, so I’m not surprised to feel them coming on so quickly now. But I keep them to myself, knowing that what we have is still so tentative and fragile. Even though he’s forgiven me, I can’t help but think that Chance will need time to process all these new developments between us and I resolve to be patient with him.
As such, I know that I can’t push him too hard or too fast. I need to reel back and give him time and space to really think about being with me. I need to know that he’s properly considered it before I get too attached.
After all, I’ve waited twenty years, what’s a few more weeks or months?
Chapter Nine – Chance
“I’ll be sure to get you some bath toys for the next time we do this,” I hear myself promising as I slowly wash Kade’s body.
He startles and blinks at me. “There really will be a next time?” He brings a hand up out of the water, an elegant index finger held up to stall the protest he knows I’m about to make. “I believe you’ve forgiven me, Ch-Daddy,” he tells me quietly, and my stomach clenches pleasantly at the honorific, “but…I just…you don’thaveto…” Kade pauses. Exhales. Visibly fortifies himself. “Tonight has been a lot for me, and I’m sure it’s been a lot for you, too. So, if you want to leave it as is, you can. I won’t hold it against you if you want to pull back and think about it before we commit to a relationship.”
There’s a part of me that wants to rail against his assumption that I need time to think things over, but I understand where he’s coming from. When I first saw him tonight, my initial reaction was fueled by hurt and frustration. If the tables had been reversed, I’d be questioning the swift turnaround of attitude, too, even though we have talked it to death by now.
“I don’t need time to think about it, baby,” I answer him softly. “Hearing you call me Daddy -whether you’re a Little or it’s just a kinky title- is like having all my fantasies come to life. Only, okay, I never considered Daddy kink of any kind when we were eighteen.” I shrug, then return to smoothing the washcloth over his skin. “If you want to slow things down because this is too fast for you, we can, but I’m not worried that we’re jumping ahead.”
It’s so hard to describe, but he doesn’t feel like a stranger. He feels like the close friend he was before our emotionally fueled falling out. He feels safe and comfortable. He feels like home in a way none of my previous relationships ever have, and I’ve only spent a couple of hours with him. I can only imagine that it’s a sign that we’re good for each other. It wouldn’t feel so easy -so right- if we weren’t, I’m convinced of that.
Kade practically melts at my declaration. “Thank God,” he says on a sigh. “It was killing me being all responsible and mature and shit.”
“Kaden,” I shut my eyes and shake my head, fighting my amusement. “Rule number two, remember?”
When I reopen my eyes, his cheeks are flushing pink and he smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, Daddy. That’s gonna take some getting used to.” Then his blush deepens, and he asks, “Does it, um, does it count during sex? The no swearing thing?”
This time I lose the battle with my amusement, snorting inelegantly. I bring a wet hand up to cup his jaw. “I think we can negotiate, don’t you?”
“Yes please,” Kade nuzzles into my hand, and I’m reminded by his earlier statement about puppy play.
Guess I’ve got some research to do.
But, for tonight, I’m going to finish bathing him, I’ll lotion that pink ass, and I’ll cuddle him to sleep.
And that’s exactly what we do.
* * *
Katie startles me when she drops into a chair across from me at the café where I tend to take my lunch breaks.
“Okay,” she demands with a Cheshire cat grin, crossing her arms over the marble-patterned Formica table top and leaning forward with blatant eagerness, “spill. Mommy and Charlie said some Little you knew bought you at the auction and then you disappeared with him for the entire weekend.” She waggles her eyebrows. “So…spill.Who was he? Musta’ been something special for you to goincommunicadoand all.”
I groan, despite knowing that the inquisition was inevitable. The group chat has been pinging with notifications with tags on my name since Sunday morning. I’m honestly surprised that my friends waited that long, considering the auction was Friday night. We hadn’t been anywhere near as kind to Spencer when he started dating Tony.
At my mixed sound of protest and resignation, Katie wiggles with excitement in her seat. She’s become a close friend since London introduced her and her Mommy, Cherie, to the group, and we often meet for lunch because -out of sheer coincidence- our offices happen to be in the same building, but we work for different companies.
“So thereissomething to tell!” my curvaceous companion all but squeals, clapping her hands. Then she straightens and levels me with a look she’s borrowed directly from Cherie, pointing a bright pink polished nail my way. “Start talking, mister.”
Despite a tiny desire to keep this new development just to myself for a little while longer, I do. I start telling Katie about Kade (and she giggles when she notices how similar their names sound), starting at the beginning. How we met in grade school when his mom moved the two of them into the area. How the other kids picked on him, and I -not giving a shit- went and sat with him in the cafeteria, trading him my (gross) healthy salad sandwich for his bologna one. How we’d bonded over shared interests (we both thought Scooby Doo was the shit back then) and how we’d become inseparable as only a pair of eight-year-olds possibly could.
Katie listens patiently as I continue to summarize our friendship into our teenage years, my thoughts on his relationship with his mom and my own distant one with my parents, my father in particular. My realization at fifteen that my spontaneous boners had somewhere along the lines become boners for Kade without ever knowing it. Keeping my crush (and the knowledge that I was definitely not straight) hidden for the next three years.
Then I tell Katie about our falling out.
About never speaking to Kade again.
About my surprise at him appearing twenty years after our fight. A fight we should have been able to talk through if we’d been more mature.
Somewhere along the lines, Katie lost the mirthful glint in her eyes and reached out to squeeze my forearm in support. She does it again when I tell her that we talked everything out and that he begged me to spank him properly as penance, even though I’d already forgiven him.
