Page 63 of The Affair of the Mysterious Letter
“Number one. That the culprit is, indeed, Citizen Icarius Castaigne of Carcosa and he wishes to force you to his side without rendering you an unsuitable wife or surrendering any leverage he might hold over you.Number two is something rather more interesting.” She paused again, smiling to herself. “Number two is a theorem not yet fully formed, but which I will share with you in the fullness of time.”
Miss Viola did not appear to take this well and expressed her displeasure in no certain terms. I attempted to defuse the situation with tea and when that stratagem proved inefficacious endeavoured instead to change the subject. “Might it be possible,” I asked, “to prevail upon the Myrmidons to treat the matter with discretion?”
Ms. Haas smirked through a haze of smoke. “You could write everything the Myrmidons know on the subject of discretion on the back of zero postcards.”
“Which is why I am here,” snarled Miss Viola. “This is your fault. You fix it.”
“Darling, this is not at all my fault. The moral of this story is that you should address the issues in your relationship before they show up at railway stations trying to murder people.”
“You are the last sentient being in this, or any other, world who is qualified to lecture me on maintaining a healthy love life.”
“Yes, but”—and here Ms. Haas wagged her pipestem in a manner that even I, as a dispassionate third party, found condescending—“I’m not the one trying to marry a fishmonger. Now come along, let us see if we can persuade Lawson to leave this matter in more capable hands.”
We took a hansom to New Arcadia Yard. Ordinarily one would not be permitted simply to walk in off the street and demand to speak to a ranking member of the Augurs. Ms. Haas, however, had little time forordinarilyand, after a certain amount of hectoring and no small amount of grandstanding, we were guided by a beleaguered constable to Second Augur Lawson’s office. He seemed neither surprised nor pleased to see us. Miss Beck, who was already in the middle of explaining the situation to him, appeared to be more of one but less of the other.
There was a brief moment in which several persons exchangedsignificant glances. Then Second Augur Lawson said, “Let me guess, Haas. This seemingly inconsequential case of blackmail is, in fact, the key to a deeper conspiracy with profound implications for civic security.”
“On the contrary”—my companion casually knocked a pile of papers from the desk and perched herself in their place—“I suspect it is entirely personal. Which is why you should drop it.”
Miss Viola put a hand on her fiancée’s shoulder. “I told you I was having this handled.”
“And I told you,” returned Miss Beck, “that we had to go to the proper authorities. I mean no disrespect, Ms. Haas, and I’m sure you’re very good at what you do, but this is a crime and it’s a matter for the law.”
Ms. Haas liberated a packet of tobacco from her décolletage and her pipe from somewhere beneath her skirts. “Good to know you’re embarking on a lifetime together with absolutely no irreconcilable philosophical differences.”
“Can we bring our attention back to the extortion?” suggested the Second Augur in some exasperation.
Miss Viola fixed him with her lambent gaze. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, but I’m the victim here and I do not wish this matter to be pursued.”
“I’m afraid it’s not up to you, miss. Strange as it may seem, my job is not to protect you; it is to protect the city of Khelathra-Ven, and I can’t let blackmailers run around making demands of upstanding citizens. It’s you this week; it might be someone else next week.”
“I assure you,” put in Ms. Haas, “it will not be someone else next week. This is a very specific matter.”
The Second Augur drummed his metal fingers against the arm of his chair. “Is it that time already, Haas? Go on, then. Tell me how I’m looking for a florid-faced man over six feet tall with unusually long fingernails.”
“Right now you are looking for nobody it is within your power to prosecute. Although I am still entertaining a number of theories, I am certain that the blackmailer is a native of Carcosa and resides beyond your jurisdiction.”
“How convenient for you.”
“Mr. Lawson,” Ms. Haas drawled, “you know full well I would never mislead the official force. To do so would be to pass up an opportunity to show you how infinitely superior my methods are to yours.”
“I can talk to the authorities in Carcosa.”
“In this situation, I suspect the authorities may be at least partially responsible.”
The Second Augur rolled his eyes. “I know you said it wasn’t, but it’s beginning to sound a lot like this seemingly inconsequential case of blackmail is, in fact, the key to a deeper conspiracy with profound implications for civic security.”
“Conspiracy yes. Security implications no.”
Miss Beck put her hand on Miss Viola’s and turned to look at her. “Conspiracies? What is this woman talking about?”
There was a tense silence, before Miss Viola replied, “When I was a child my parents arranged a betrothal for me. Shaharazad thinks he’s still alive, has attained some status in the party, and may wish to exert a claim over me.”
“So you only told me about the vampire because she tried to kill us. You only told me about the blackmail because nothing else would explain why these total strangers”—she gestured at Ms. Haas and myself—“turned up to save us. And you’re only telling me you used to be engaged because I went to the Augurs and somebody else brought it up.”
Miss Viola flushed. “I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of—”
“You’re not joking.”
