Page 110 of How to Belong with a Billionaire

“You weren’t an idiot. You just weren’t a cynic. And despite my best efforts, we didn’t raise a cynic.” She nudged her shoulder against mine. “There’s such a lot of your mum in you, Ardy.”

“Well, we did both get taken in by the same person.”

“That’s enough of that.” Hazel could go from cosy to death glare faster than anyone I knew, especially on Mum’s behalf. “I can tell you want to self-flagellate about this, but leave Iris out of it. You’d been warned. She hadn’t.”

I wilted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just so scared, thinking I could have brought him here. After everything Mum’s already gone through.”

“We’ve been prepared for him. For a long time.” She let out a rough breath that misted in the chill like a dragon’s. “But we hoped he’d never find her. Or you.”

“I could have handled it a gazillion times better when he did.”

She was quiet for a while. “You did the wrong thing, but I don’t blame you for doing it.”

“I blame me.”

“Blame him. He deserves it. You don’t. Mind you”—she was on her feet again, all five foot one of her primed for a fight—“if he comes anywhere near us again, I’m going fullFried Green Tomatoeson his arse.”

And there went another of my loved ones threatening murder with too much conviction for my comfort. “He won’t.” It should have been such a triumphant declaration. But I just sounded tired. “When I realised what I’d done, I went to Caspian and he got his lawyer on the case. And it was horrible and ugly and scary, but…yeah. Caspian’s a very powerful man and there’s nothing Dad can do about it.”

Hazel let out a low whistle, snatched away almost immediately by the wind. “That’s…that’s one hell of a happening.”

“Tell me about it. Like…there are ways rich people can fuck you up that it never occurred to me you could fuck a person up. Which is, y’know, really socially problematic, but right now I’m just glad it’s over.”

“You didn’t have to do this alone, Ardy.”

“I don’t mean this in the machoHigh Noonway but”—I wiped my nose again, because the cold and the threat of tears weren’t bringing out the best in it—“I kind of did. And it was mostly Caspian anyway.”

“I thought you and Mr. Billionaire were over.”

“We are, but”—I tried to smile except it felt the same as sadness—“I knew he’d still help me.”

She spread her mittens in a gesture of bewildered pragmatism. “Useful friend to have, that one.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to use him. I wouldn’t have gone to him for anything less important.”

“I’ve got to admit,” she said with a grim look, “I’m not wildly thrilled about strangers being up in our business either. But when it comes to Jonas, fuck my pride.”

“That was my thinking too.”

“I’ve got to say, I don’t quite know what to make of this.”

I hung my head.

“I’m angry, a little bit in your direction, but mostly at him. And I’m sorry he hurt you. But”—and here she fixed me with a look I couldn’t flinch from—“I’m also really proud of you.”

I actually boggled at her. “Omigod,why?”

“Because you made a mistake, and you did your best to make it right.”

“I wouldn’t have had to make it right if I hadn’t—”

“Don’t be daft, Ardy. You can’t expect to live a life you’re happy to look back on and not fuck it up occasionally. It’s not the fucking up that counts. It’s what you do after.”

My fingers were probably about to turn blue and drop off, so I jammed my hands between my knees to warm them. “Even if you were warned and should have known better?”

She gave me something like her usual grin. “Even then.”

I…had no idea what to say. I did feel sort of better in some ways. Kinlochbervie always helped, through some combination of being literally remote, and also the place where I knew I’d always be welcome. Always be safe. Always be loved. Despite my best efforts to blow it up. But then I remembered what I was up here to do and everything was immediately terrible again.

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