“I just meant you shouldn’t feel bad about what you did or didn’t do at university. Opportunity isn’t a moment. It’s a path. Anytime you want, you can start being the person you think you should have been.”
“Um…I’m think I’m good.”
“Oh really?” He blinked. “I believe it’s time for pudding.”
The fact he said “pudding” was a little bit endearing. Despite his many other manifestly unendearing qualities.
Caspian picked at the edge of his nicotine patch. “So, Arden. How are you?”
“Since the last two times you asked me that question tonight? Still fine, Caspian.”
“‘Fine’ is a rather nonspecific answer.”
“Well, I stubbed my toe against the floor when I got out of bed this morning, and I think it’s catching in a hole in my sock. Specific enough for you?”
“I just”—he paused, foot jiggling under the table—“I want to know about your life.”
“My life is also fine.”
“Do you have plans for Christmas?”
“I’m going to Boston to see Nik. He’s still in rehab out there—I mean, can’t walk rehab. Not drugs rehab.” I wrinkled my nose thoughtfully. “Maybe I shouldn’t call it rehab.”
“I expected you would spend the holiday with your family.”
“I wanted to, but Nik doesn’t have anyone. So”—wild grin and jazz hands—“he gets me.”
Caspian was watching me with an expression I couldn’t read. “That’s very generous of you. Do you need the jet?”
My mouth fell open.
“I won’t be using it, if that’s your concern.”
“You…you can’t just lend me your plane.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too much.”
“It’s nothing to me,” he murmured. “You know that. Let me do this for you, Arden.”
“No way. We’re not in any sort of place where I would feel comfortable owing you.”
He bowed his head. “That…is troubling to me. But I understand.”
“Besides”—I did a Scarlett O’Hara head toss—“I paid for that shitty economy ticket on a shitty economy airline out of money I made for myself. At the proper grown-up job I do. So there.”
“And how is your work going?”
“Really well, actually.” I plonked my elbows on the table and leaned forward, continuing in a stagey whisper. “Believe it or not, I managed to bag an interview with an elusive gay billionaire and his husband-to-be. It’s a big deal.”
Caspian suddenly couldn’t look at me. “I’m glad it was helpful to you. You’re living with El—Elean—Ellery, is that correct?”
“Yep. In a disused biscuit factory we share with a stuffed walrus called Broderick. There are a lot of drugs and we party late into the night like the no-fucks-given twenty-somethings we are.”
“I hope my sister isn’t being a bad influence on you.”
“She hasn’t broken my heart yet, so I think that puts her well ahead of the family average.”