Page 123 of Velvet Corruption

Not someone else’s.

Russell’s.

I gripped the counter, forcing in a breath. The room felt too quiet. Kieran was somewhere nearby, making his calls, handling this like it was just another night, but I couldn’t stop hearing it. The fight. The struggle. The way Russell’s breath had rattled in his throat before Kieran—

I squeezed my eyes shut. No. No.

I had let this happen.

I had let Kieran take control.

I had let him talk me into sending that text to Alek. Had let him take my phone. Had let him call his people instead of mine. Had let him tell me to clean my goddamn kitchen like this was just another mess to scrub out of my life.

I shouldn’t have. I should have called Alek. I should have done something else. But I hadn’t.

And that was the part that ate at me.

The fact that, deep down, I knew Kieran had been right. I slammed a drawer shut harder than necessary, shoved the first-aid kit back where it belonged, tried to pretend my hands weren’t shaking as I wiped down the counters again. And again. And again. The house still felt wrong.

It was supposed to feel safe.Iwas supposed to feel safe. Instead, there was this, and the more I thought about it, the less real it seemed. It felt like it was happening to someone else. Not to me. Not to the newly elected DA of Boston.

I couldn’t even wrap my head around it. Hours ago, I had been celebrating, congratulating myself on a job well done. I was the first woman to hold the office, making history. Now I was here, cleaning up a crime scene in my own home. I made history again.

Not in a good way.

Everything else had blurred, bleeding into one long moment of chaos, until the noise from the struggle echoed in my head like a bad dream I couldn’t shake. But it wasn’t a dream.

I rubbed at a stain that wasn’t there, tried to make sense of what didn’t make sense. Tried to pretend this was just another tough day. Tried to pretend I could handle this on my own.

It should have felt worse, knowing what Russell had become. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was my fault, that I was the one who pushed him to this. That my success had been his trigger. He might’ve been a monster…but maybe if a judge had given him a slap on the wrist, everyone would have been okay. Even Melody.

But that thought quickly stopped making sense.

I was only alive because of Kieran. And Melody, Russell’s ex, was only alive because of me.

He had saved me from this. He had stepped in when I couldn’t, wouldn’t. And I hated that I needed him to.

But I did. I really fucking did.

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I held them under the faucet, the water rushing hot and clean over my skin, trying to erase the memory of blood, the feeling of powerlessness. I’d felt powerless too often lately…so often that it hurt. I had power, according to all the rules that counted, but it was all a lie.

How long had I stood there, watching Russell die, feeling the shock of it coil tight around my ribs, while Kieran just handledit? Like he’d known this would happen. Like he’d seen it coming a mile away.

He’d been right. But that didn’t make it feel any less like a violation. Like a robbery of something I hadn’t realized was mine to lose.

My peace. My independence.

My goddamn life.

I shut off the water and reached for a towel, trying to dry my hands, trying to stop them from trembling. But I couldn’t. The adrenaline, the aftermath, the sheer weight of it all was too much.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. Didn’t know how to just stand there and let the silence stretch over me like a suffocating blanket.

The house felt wrong. It felt too big, too empty, too haunted by a presence I couldn’t shake.

Russell was dead, and the relief I thought I’d feel was nowhere to be found. I wasn’t relieved. I was just raw.

Because the only thing I felt was guilt. The only thing I knew was that I had let Kieran take control.

---