Nothing more.
And it didn’t mean a fucking thing. Tomorrow, I’d go back to my own life. And I’d have to forget about Kieran all over again.
Except, this time, it would have to be for good.
Chapter Thirteen: Kieran
Ruby was here.
In my living room.
She was sleeping, in my living room, and I was trying my best to forget that she was right there. She had fallen asleep while I was making some tea and I had thrown a blanket on her as I wondered if I should carry her to a guest bedroom. She would have been pissed.
She would have been angry even if I’d spent the night on the floor next to her—though a part of me desperately wanted to.
So instead, I pretended everything was normal as I got ready for bed and tossed and turned as I thought about her until sleep finally claimed me.
I woke up at three a.m., my body dragging my mind into awareness. It was like I’d been pulled from a deep pit, the night air still pressing heavy and close around me. I sat up, ran ahand through my hair, let my eyes adjust to the darkness.Ruby.The thought of her scraped at the edge of my consciousness, prickling like a splinter just under the skin.
Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the curls around her heart-shaped face, the galaxy of freckles over her pretty nose.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and paused there for a moment, taking in the faint outlines of the room. The digital clock’s red glow cast an eerie light, pulsing with each passing second. I let out a long breath, trying to shake off the feeling clinging to my bones. I knew I wouldn’t get back to sleep until I checked on her.
The hardwood was cool underfoot as I headed down the stairs, shadows stretching and twisting along the walls. The quiet was oppressive, the kind that made you hyper-aware of every creak and breath. I kept moving, each step measured, the need to see Ruby awake in my gut like a lead weight.
When I reached the living room, she was still on the couch, a bundle of limbs and tension against the cushions. Even in sleep, her body didn’t relax; she shifted slightly, brows drawn, like she was fighting ghosts in her dreams. Her bandaged hand was on top of the blanket, the glaringly white gauze catching in the moonlight.
She looked so small, so fragile.
She looked likemine.
The thought hit me fast and hard, sending me reeling. I’d been trying to be decent all day, but standing there, watching her like this…? My thoughts wandered.
Just for a second, I imagined walking over, brushing the curls from her cheek. Kneeling down beside her and kissing her wrist where the bandages stopped. Lifting her into my arms and carrying her upstairs…because she would be more comfortable in my bed.
She would be more comfortable after I’d had my mouth on her, after my cock was inside her. After I’d given her an orgasm or three, or ten.
“Jesus,” I growled, rubbing my hand down my face and forcing myself to walk away.
The kitchen felt like a different world, its white light a shock to my senses as I turned on the overhead. I took a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, watching as it overflowed slightly, slipping down the sides and pouring over my knuckles. The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound, underscoring the silence like a bass line.
I drank a glass of water as I heard her move. “Kieran?”
“Hey,” I said, not looking—because it would be too much temptation to look right now, right after indulging in those dirty fantasies. “Are you thirsty?”
“No,” she said. “I’m going back to sleep.”
I grabbed another glass from the cabinet and filled it with ice water to go back to the living room. Ruby stirred as I entered, eyes blinking open, confusion and awareness battling for dominance before her gaze found my bare chest and traveled down to my waist…to where my sweats did little to hide whatI was packing underneath. I held out the glass, a single word cutting through the still air: “Drink.”
She grumbled, but the sound was soft. Her fingers brushed mine as she took the glass, and fuck…I wanted to keep touching her. I never wanted to stop.
We didn’t say anything, but the silence buzzed between us, thick with everything we weren’t saying. I settled into the couch across from her, feeling the weight of the night all over again. It pressed down, threatening to suffocate. I didn’t think either of us breathed for a long time.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, knowing I had.
“Yeah, but don’t worry,” she said. “I haven’t had a very good night. Thanks for the water.”
The glow from the streetlamp cast shadows across the living room, stretching them long and thin until they bled into one. I leaned against the arm of the couch and watched Ruby. She sat with one leg tucked under her, like she used to back when things were simple. She was quiet now, her brow furrowed, as if trying to decide whether to speak or stay the hell away.