Page 1 of Conflicting Lyrics
“Alright,class, time’s up. Please make sure your name is on the top of your test and hand it in on your way out.”
I startle at my teacher's voice, eyes flicking up to find her assessing the classroom full of students, assuring no one is attempting to answer any last-minute questions.
Licking my lips, I swallow hard. My heart is racing so fast, I feel a little lightheaded.
That’s it? Time’s up? Didn’t we just start the exam?
My gaze flicks up to the clock on the wall, and an empty feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.
How the heck did an hour pass so fast? It’s like I blinked and it was over.
Glancing down at my test, I make sure my name is on the top before getting to my feet.
My legs feel like jelly as I walk towards the front of the class. Other students make a quick dash for the door, but it’s like my body is moving in slow motion.
With every step closer to the front of the room, my mind starts to race as I think over every question on the exam.
Did I get them all right? If not, how many did I get wrong?
God, what if they’re all wrong and I end up failing the exam? My parents would kill me.
To most people, this is just your regular, end-of-the-year finals. The last set of tests you will ever take in your high school life.
But to me, it determines the rest of my life.
My parents won’t settle for anything less than perfection.
I strive to do right, to make them proud, to do what’s expected of me. Sometimes, it feels like it’s never enough. That I could always do more.
It’s an exhausting way to live if I’m being honest. But it’s the only way I’ve known.
“Miss Carter.”
My teacher's voice snaps me out of my inner spiral, my eyes rising up to hers.
Forcing a smile onto my lips, I hand over my exam, my hand visibly trembling.
She gives me a kind smile. “Breathe, Lucinda. I have faith you're going to do just fine. Believe in yourself, because I do.”
“I’ll try.” My smile turns real, grateful for her kind words.
“See you at graduation. If not, I hope you have a wonderful summer and an exciting future. I see good things for you, Lucinda. You're a bright girl with a kind heart.”
Lucinda.I hate that name. I’d much rather be called Lulu or Lucy, but I don’t correct her. There’s no point. I’ll never see her again, so I just let it go.
“Thanks,” I whisper before turning on my heel and rushing out of the room.
I don’t stop until I get to my locker. Only then do I allow myself to take a breath.
Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the cool, hard metal and let out a long breath.
“Is this some sort of new meditation thing you're trying out?”
At the sound of my best friend's voice, my head swings to the side, the only carefree smile I had today taking over my face. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Ally grins back, leaning her shoulder against the locker. “Sooo, how did you do?”
I groan, letting my forehead fall against the lockers again. “Awful. The worst. I failed, Ally. I’m doomed. They’re going to reverse my college acceptance, and I’ll be forced to pick up trash on the side of the road, disgracing my whole family.”
