Page 63 of Married to the Beasts
when we met, I knew you were the one
every day, until my life is done …
loving you has only just begun
The song goes on, and I listen to it all, my eyes fixed to the screen, wishing I could reach through it and touch them. When they finish, Conal looks right at the camera and says, “Thank you for listening.”
As soon as the stream ends, my phone rings; it’s him. He’s called me every day, and every day I’ve refused it. This time, I answer.
“Hi, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft, so deep, and only when I hear it again do I realize how much I’ve missed it.
“Conal,” I choke out. I want to say more, but I can’t.
“Can we come see you, baby?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Please.” I don’t know if it’s the right decision, but I need to see them, and I want to hear him out.
“We’ve got the plane on standby. We’ll be there as fast as we can. I love you.” And then he’s gone, before I can answer.
I wash my face, put on clean clothes, and fix my hair, but it’s another two hours before the men arrive. Reporters and paparazzi have already gathered outside the house, and they try to swarm the Pythons, shouting questions, as they make their way to the front door and inside.
My mother meets them at the door. I’m across the room, sitting in my favorite armchair, trying to get my heart to beat at a normal pace. “Ma’am,” Conal says, solemn, respectful, making no assumptions. Very smart of him.
Mom says nothing, except to me: “I’m going to pick your sister up from school.”
“Please let some of the security guys take you,” Bron says. “There might be a zoo over there, too.”
Mom nods and goes out. Immediately, the shouting starts again, all the reporters trying to get her attention. I watch through the sheer curtains as two of the security team flank her and escort her to the SUV in the driveway. I wait untilthey’ve pulled away before I turn my attention to the men.
They’ve gathered around me, and now they all sit at my feet, rather than opting for the other furniture, none of which is right next to my chair. Conal takes my hand; Rafe takes the other one.
“Hazel,” Conal says, “I’m so, so sorry for hurting you. It was stupid of me, and thoughtless, and selfish.
“This past week has been awful. I miss you terribly. I did have that fleeting thought about how marriage would piss off Alan, but when I met you, all I was thinking about was you. How beautiful you were, inside and out. How you made me feel.
“And ever since then, every day has shown me more and more that my instincts were right about you. I’ve never been with anyone like you, and I never want to be with anyone else, ever again.”
Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms, but I have to be stronger than that, so I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. “I want to believe you—I do believe you—because what would be the point of lying to me now? But that doesn’t make everything okay. You used me, Conal. You married me just to spite Alan, and you made sure the whole world knew about it, just to rub it in his face.”
He frowns and shakes his head. “That’s not true, Hazel. You have to believe me.”
“The pictures at the jewelry store? Our wedding pictures all over the internet before I even woke up in the morning? You made a fool of me just to piss him off.”
“Hazel, I didn’t arrange any of that. Is that what you think? Media people follow us around all the time. You know that.”
He has a point. Maybe I’ve been looking too hard for clues that support what I heard him say to Alan. “But our marriage was based on a lie.”
“Here’s the full and honest truth, Hazel. Before I met you, Iwasmad at Alan, and I had the wild thought that it would serve him right if I got married, but I didn’t plan to actually do it. Then I met you, and maybe those wild marriage thoughts gave me the excuse I needed to take a chance with you. Because I never imagined myself the marrying type, but when I saw you, and got to know you that night, I needed a way to keep you in my life.
“At first, I told myself it was a fake marriage, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t. Was I glad that Alan was pissed off? Was I happy he saw pictures of you wearing my ring? Yes, I’ll admit that I’m that much of an asshole, but I didn’t arrange for the pictures,and petty revenge was not the reason I asked you to marry me. And with every day that passed, that became clear as day.
“It’s true that without Alan, maybe the idea of marriage would never have occurred to me, but I’m so glad it did. I never thought I’d be a good husband to anyone, but you made me want to try. Because I love you, Hazel, and everything between us has been one hundred percent real. If you can forgive me, if you give me a chance, I’ll show you that I meant everything I said. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before.”
Before I have a chance to respond, Rafe says, “I love you, too. Nothing’s right without you. Please come home, Hazel. We miss you.”
Bron takes my hand from Conal and kisses it. “I love everything about you,” he says. “Your kindness, your spirit, your generosity, your curiosity. Everything.” He squeezes my hand. “We’re all in love with you, Hazel. Will you please let us show you how much?”
“I love you all, too,” I say, my voice husky with unshed tears. “That’s why it hurts so much.” I pull my hands back into my lap. “But I don’t think I fit into your lives.”
