Page 46 of Worth the Want
“Up you go, Hazey,” she says, spinning her in a circle before setting her in the seat. “Do you want the purple bib or the red one tonight?”
“Red!”
“You got it, sweets.” She turns to retrieve it from the drawer and ends up chest-to-chest with me while I carry Hazel's food to her. “Sorry,” she whispers, but her hands stay on my chest and seem to linger there for a moment before she slides out from under my arm and passes by. I grin. Glad Ihave an effect on her, seeing as she has an astronomical one on me.
I am painfully aware of her every movement. From her hand brushing her hair back from her face to the way she absently rubs at her shoulder when she’s nervous. Yesterday I had to force myself to focus on my research for the upcoming case I’m presenting instead of staring at her in her bright-blue bikini out on the dock.
After dinner, I start cleaning up in the kitchen, and Hazel requests that Indie read her a bedtime story. She’s wearing her birthday present from her, a pink nightgown with a dinosaur on it, holding a cup of tea that says: Tea-Rex. She’s worn it almost every night since opening it. I place the plates in the dishwasher just as Indie appears in the hallway smiling.
“I’m not sure how, but that little girl gets more charming every time I see her,” she whispers to me.
“I think she’s been spending too much time with Alder,” I tell her, and she snickers.
“I don’t think he’s her only influence in that department.” I think that’s a compliment, and I think I really like getting them from her.
“Thank you for inviting me for dinner. You don’t have to feed me all the time though. You’ve already let me extend my stay at your guesthouse—which I am incredibly grateful for by the way,” she adds.
“I like feeding you,” I answer honestly. I feel like we’ve been doing this dance for weeks now, and I’m not the best at making my intentions known with words, but I had hoped my actions might have conveyed a measure of how I’m feeling.
With each week that’s gone by, each dinner where she’s fumbled around my kitchen until she finds what she’s lookingfor, or each day in the sun we’ve shared, I find myself missing her when she’s not with me. Indie is quickly becoming a part of my life—a part of Hazel’s. Happiness and doubt war inside me at the thought. She may choose to spend time with us now, but she’s so young. Her whole life is really just beginning. I shake my head, ridding it of my uncertainty, and let myself enjoy her company. “Do you want to stay for a glass of wine tonight?” The look on her face is slightly confused and possibly amused.
“I could use a glass of wine,” she says after giving it some thought.
“I’ll pour us a couple of glasses and meet you out back,” I tell her. She nods and walks out the back glass door. I watch as she picks her chair, opening one of the bottles Winnie gave me. She and Rhett gave everyone a bottle from the vineyard they visited last month in California to choose wine for their wedding. I may as well try some with Indie.
After pouring the red liquid into two stemless glasses, I take a quick peek into Hazel’s room and find her already fast asleep. Smiling, I make my way out back. I haven’t been on a date since I was in college, and this may not be an actual date, but it is time spent with a woman I’m interested in. I hand Indie her drink, then I grab some wood to start a fire in the pit between us.
“It’s nice out tonight,” Indie says, drawing my attention from the fire to her legs thrown over the side of her chair.
“It is. The weather will only get better from here on out. You’ll like summer.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You like being outside, and you seem to like the lake. Summer’s the best season for it. You’ll have more daylight.” Ilight the fire, then I sit in my chair to the side of hers, stretching my legs out in front of me. Only a small end table separates us.
“In that case, I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve been wanting to get out on the paddleboard more.” She sighs, tipping her head back against the wooden slats. “There are so many things I want to do here, and I feel like there’s never enough time.”
“There'll be time. If you’re planning on sticking around, that is.” I’m trying not to make it sound like my happiness may depend on her answer.
She smiles, that sweet fucking smile that makes my chest feel funny again. “I plan on sticking around,” she confirms.
“Good.” She laughs at my response.
“Is it good? You’re not dying to get me out of your hair anymore?” she teases, throwing those words from over a month ago back at me. Had I ever thought that I wanted to be rid of her?
“You’re growing on me,” I tell her.
“Enough with the flattery, Knox. I can’t take much more of it.” She’s grinning at me. Her nose slightly scrunched as she settles further into her chair. Her sweatshirt tonight has a velociraptor on it and the words “clever girl” underneath. Her shirts have become something I look forward to, and I’m not sure if she realizes it, but I don’t compliment women often—not because they aren’t deserving, but because I don’t know how to without sounding cheesy or like I’ve never said words before.
Growing up, it became obvious that I wasn’t as outgoing as either of my brothers. Rhett is the definition of lovable. Kind-hearted to a fault, he’s always well-intentioned and never quick to anger. Then there’s Alder, from the day he was born, he’s demanded attention without even trying. He’s funny andcharming and being around him is as easy as breathing. I’m lucky to have them in my life—I’ve also compared myself to them more often than I should.
“I’ll dial it back a bit,” I tell her. She tosses her head back in laughter. More of this. More of her. That’s what I want, but I don’t know how to tell her that. I’m forty-one years old, forty-two in a matter of weeks, and I don’t know how to tell a woman I want to spend time with her. Asking my brothers for advice is an option, but I would never hear the end of it. I could maybe ask Florence, but asking my baby sister feels embarrassing.
Also, calling her my baby sister when she’s the same age as Indiana reminds me that Indie is so young. She has so much of her life ahead of her, and I’m not interested in going out every night or traveling the world. Being saddled to me wouldn’t be doing her any favors.
“That would be appreciated. So how long have you lived here at the lake?”
“A couple of years now.” I clear my throat, unsure if bringing up some of my past is necessary, if it’s something she cares to know. I decide I want her to know me and know my daughter. “Hazel and I lived with her mother for a few months after she was born while I had this house renovated. After she passed away, we moved here.” I watch her face change, the blush from her wine draining from her face. Her eyes shine with sadness.
