Page 76 of Hunt Me
‘Like I knew!’I challenge‘How would I know? I thought you were dead.’
Isla manages to catch my cheek again in amongst some of her rapid-fire slapping, and I grunt, bringing my fingers up to rub the sting.
‘Still a psycho, I see.’I mumble, unable to help myself but slip into our old bickering.
‘You’re the creep walking around cosplaying like a fifteen-year-old. See you never outgrew being a bam, you psychotic loser.’
I feign shock, pouting as I hold my hands to my chest.‘You wound me.’
‘Oh, piss off.’She looks me up and down,‘A bull running at full speed couldn’t hurt you.’
I grin manically,‘not just a bam anymore.’
Isla scoffs, but she assesses me. I’ve changed drastically since I last saw her. Pouring my grief into honing my body into a machine, into focusing on one thing. Pain. And I found that pain in many things, one being the conditioning of my body.
‘See you haven’t gone hungry.’
‘You can hardly talk,’I respond with a point towards her pregnant belly. Despite my dig, it doesn’t stop the guilt that pinches at me.
Fauna’s discomfort over the cans she had eaten hits deeper now that I know she likely had my sister’s well-being on her mind. Her guilt was because she knew my hungry, pregnant sister was back here, probably without most of the food I was feeding my little deer. Fauna’s hunger was evident in how shewolfed down the food, so how long had she and Isla gone without it?
How much have the two of them suffered?
How much of that suffering could have been avoided if I hadn’t believed Isla was dead — if I hadn’t accepted that she was gone? Why did I give in so easily? I had let those people drag me away, kicking and screaming, but she was still there, all alone, without me to take care of her.
Neither of them will be alone ever again, I swear it.
Isla doesn’t try to slap me again, meaning my remark must hit too close to the bone. I feel no satisfaction or smugness at her silence; the younger me would have relished my victory at getting one over on my sister. But neither of us is our younger selves, and this world is even more dark and brutal than the one we left behind.
A sickness begins to churn inside my stomach as I watch her anger disappear, replaced by a raw vulnerability I have never seen in her before.
‘Did—’ the question lodges in my throat. It closes as if to protect some semblance of hope that if I don’t utter the words, then they won’t be true.
Please don’t be true.
‘Did someone do this?’
Isla stares at me as if I have grown a second head.‘You think I’m the next virgin Mary or something? Of fucking course someone else did this,’she gestures to the swell of her bump.‘Jesus, Ru, have you lost half of your brain cells.’
‘Not what I was asking,’grinding my teeth.‘Did someone force you, Isla? Were you—’
‘Raped?’she finishes for me. I watch as her lips turn white as she mashes them together, a frown appearing between her eyebrows.
I step towards her, reaching out my arms to embrace her. My jaw feels like it is about to crack with the pressure. I clench my teeth together but don’t let my fury bubble over. This is about being here for my little sister and her needs, not mine.
‘No,’Isla shakes her head wildly.‘No, Ru. It wasn’t like that at all. I wanted him. That’s never happened to me. I’m one of the lucky ones.’
I’m one of the lucky ones.
Some of the tension in my head releases, and I feel a moment of complete and utter relief for my sister.
‘Thank fuck,’I breathe pulling her into a hug so tight I’m afraid to let her go.
It’s not right knowing that so many other women have suffered and are suffering out there, but just for now, I squeeze my little sister a little tighter, knowing that she doesn’t have that demon to battle.
Her palms bat against my sides.‘All right you big sop, get off of me.’I don’t let her go, though. For some reason meeting Fauna has had some knock-on effect on me, and I have become all sentimentally emotional.‘Ru, I can’t breathe, you big fucker.’
Quickly I release Isla as I remember she is probably not in the right condition for me to be squeezing her so tightly. I’m not sure she’d be very impressed with me referring to her pregnancy as a condition, but at least I’m caring enough to think about it.
