Page 33 of Jessica's Hero
And I haven’t. Not until Kane.
Telling him everything the other night was terrifying. The whole time, I was bracing myself for rejection. Or for the inevitable look of disappointment in his eyes when he realized the Jess hethoughthe knew was someone else completely.
But neither of those things happened, much to my relief.
To my surprise, really.
I wouldn’t have blamed Kane if he’d decided to move on. If he decided he didn’t want to be with someone with so much baggage. If he wanted to look for a woman that didn’t receive icy glares around town and end up with her tires slashed because of what she did nearly twenty years ago.
Kane thinks the damage to my tires might not be related. Later last night, after we had dinner and watched his sci-fi movie and we ended up cuddling on the couch—which was awesome and exactly what I needed after such a craptastic day—he gently suggested the culprit could be someone with more sinister intentions.
“I know you think it’s just someone trying to scare you,” he said. “And you might be right. But as a cop, I have to consider all the options. Especially when it comes to your safety.”
Honestly, Idothink it’s just someone trying to scare me. But Kane was so earnest about it, and it felt so nice to be worried about for a change, I just agreed with all his suggestions.
So I’m not walking to my car alone anymore. When I mentioned that I don’t always have someone around to accompany me, Kane got this intense look on his face and said, “Then I’ll come walk you to your car, Jess. And if Ican’t get away from work, I have a lot of friends who’d be happy to help. Just don’t walk alone, okay?”
I also have a nifty new security system installed on my car, so if anyone tries to tamper with it, I’ll know right away. And to make my house even safer, Kane set it up so if my alarm goes off, it’ll notify the police right away. Plus, Kane’s running background checks on everyone I work with, just to be safe. “I know it seems like overkill,” he told me a touch sheepishly. “But you can never be too careful.”
Would Kane go through all that effort if hedidn’tcare?
Would he have already asked me to dinner at Oliver and Shea’s this weekend if he wasn’tcatching feelings, as the contestants onThe Bachelorlike to say?
And would he have mentioned taking me on a winter hike in Rockefeller Park next week if he wasn’t interested in spending more time with me?
I don’t think so.
So it’s with a deep breath and a silent prayer that I finally send my answer to Hazel’s question.
I think we are. We haven’t talked about it yet, but he asked me out again this weekend to have dinner with his partner and his wife. And he brought up doing a winter hike next week. So that sounds like we’re dating. Doesn’t it?
Aside from a brief conversation during reality-TV-night the other day, I haven’t really talked about Kane to anyone other than Hazel. Ari and Thea gave me some knowing looks and dropped some loaded hints about how great Kane is, but they didn’t come right out and ask me about him. And Nora’s been out of town on a job for Blade and Arrow, so I haven’t had a chance to tell her anything yet.
Telling Hazel almost feels safer, in a way. While sheknows about my accident and the lies I told back in high school—I came clean during a late-night gaming session last year—she’s never judged me for it. She just said that everyone makes mistakes, especially when they’re teenagers, and I’ve more than paid the price for mine.
When she first said it, I didn’t believe her. I thought she was just being kind. But after hearing Kane say almost the same thing, I’m starting to come around to the idea that maybe Ihavebeen judged more harshly than I should have been.
Hazel’s reply blinks onto my screen.
That sounds like you’re dating to me. I’m so happy for you, Jess. You deserve to find a great guy.
An involuntary smile pulls at my cheeks as I type my response.
He really is great. So thoughtful and sweet and brave and… he’s an incredible kisser. I know looks shouldn’t matter, but he’s so handsome, too. Sometimes I can’t believe he’s actually interested in me when he could find someone prettier. Less complicated.
The instant the words appear on the screen, I inwardly cringe. I sound so pathetic. And nothing like the confident woman I wish I could be.
Hazel’s reply is almost immediate.
Don’t even say that. He’s lucky to find you. You’re smart and funny and kind. And you’re the most kickass rogue I’ve ever met, which is a high compliment. Also, who wants simple? Simple is boring.
As I stare at her words at the bottom of my monitor, she continues.
I know you’ve had a rough time, especially since you moved back to help your mom. But you’ve stayed strongthrough all of it. Think of this as your reward. You finally found an amazing guy who sees your worth. Be happy, J. You deserve it.
My nose unexpectedly prickles as I read her words.
Could she be right?
