Page 96 of Jessica's Hero
Those people who claim time heals all wounds don’t know what they’re talking about.
Logically, I know it’ll get easier. But I’ll never forget. And the scar left behind from that terrible day will never disappear.
It’s like I explained to my mom when she came to visit a few days after Jess’s abduction, as we talked quietly in the kitchen while Jess napped in the bedroom. “I know you think I’m too protective,” I told her, “and maybe I am. But knowing how close I came to losing Jess… it’s impossible not to be.”
“I know,” she replied, and gave me a big hug. “I give you a hard time about it, Kane, but I wouldn’t change youfor a second. You do it because you care. And that’s never a bad thing.”
She loves Jess, of course. As if anyone couldn’t.
Just before my mom left, she pulled me aside and placed her engagement ring in my hand. “It’s okay if you want to buy your own,” she said quietly, “but if you want to propose with the ring your dad gave me, I’d love to see it on her. Knowing the love I had with your dad carries on to the love you have for Jess.”
I hadn’t told her about proposing. I haven’t told anyone yet. But my mom just knew.
I won’t do it yet, not when Jess is still dealing with the repercussions of what that asshole neighbor of hers did. Adam fucking Dixon, a sadistic serial killer who took the lives of at least six women and nearly killed my Jess.
If he was still alive, I’d kill him myself. But at least I know he’s dead. I looked at his body just to be sure.
Shit. Whenever I think about what Jess went through and the courage she showed… It’s almost too much to take. I asked Oliver about it one day while we were on patrol, wondering how he moved past all the things that happened to Shea.
“It was hard,” he told me solemnly, “and I don’t know that I’ll ever be completely over it. But knowing the man responsible for hurting Shea is dead helps. So does knowing I’m taking all the precautions I can to keep her safe. And I work at it for our sake. So the guilt and regret don’t overshadow our relationship.”
I’m trying to do the same, which is why I agreed to meet with Jess’s counselor, too. Because if there’s anything I can do to make our relationship stronger, I’ll do it.
My phone buzzes, pulling me from my wandering thoughts. I reach across the collection of at least a hundred desk parts to snatch it up, expecting to see Jess’s name splashed across the screen.
And it is, along with her message.
Nora and I had a nice time. Everything was fine! We’re just about to pay the bill. I think I’m going to stop at the cemetery on the way home. Visit with my mom for a few minutes. It’s been a while and I want to tell her all about you.
Relief mixes with a bittersweet pang.
I’m glad she had a good time with her friend and made it through coffee without any problems.Andthat she’s going to be home soon.
But I’m sad that I’ll never be able to meet Jess’s mom. I wish I could tell her what an incredible daughter she raised. Reassure her that I’ll spend my life protecting Jess and doing everything in my power to make her happy.
Pushing the somber thoughts to the side, I quickly send my reply.
Ok. Drive safe. See you soon. Love you.
Yes, I know she’s only driving through town, but still. Accidents happen.
A few seconds later, my phone buzzes again.
I’ll tell my mom you said hi. Maybe next time you can come, too. Love you.
I stare at her message for at least a full minute, debating.
Obviously, I’m not finishing the office today. I could just hang out here while I wait for Jess to get home. Do a little cleaning. Figure out what to make for dinner.
Or I could go to the cemetery to meet her. I haven’t been to her mom’s grave yet, though I’ve been thinkingabout it. Jess might appreciate the support. And she just said she wants me to come.
Screw around the house or support my girlfriend while she talks to her mom? Is there even a question?
Hopping up, I give the frustrating desk pieces a final glare before turning my back on them. Then I hurry out of the room and give the door a firm shut.
It only takes me a few minutes to get on the road, and it’ll take me about five minutes to get to the cemetery just outside town, which should have me getting there right around when Jess does. Maybe I’ll swing by the florist to pick up some flowers; give Jess a few minutes alone with her mom.
Yes. Flowers would be good. And I remember Jess saying that blue was her mom’s favorite color, too.
