Page 34 of Stroked
My shoulders relaxed and I smiled at James as he left my office. I decided I would text Valentina once I was home and see if she would meet me this weekend, since they recently left. I still didn’t understand why, but I wanted to hear her out, and I wanted to see her again.
Chapter 18
Valentina
Last night was so incredibly intense, and not in a good way. I got so wrapped up in Amy and our… whatever this was… that I never got details on where she worked or what it was exactly that she did. Admittedly, she had the upper hand on my occupation since we met when I was working. But the whole interaction only proved we jumped in quickly and really didn’t know each other.
So, why did I feel this way?
I wasn’t promiscuous by any means but had my fair share of casual encounters with women over the years. Many I only saw a few times, and it was fine because there was no real connection or anything in common.
I didn’t have much in common with Amy that I could tell. She was raised without emphasis on religion, from what she explained. She had no siblings. And she was open about her sexuality. I was raised Catholic, had several siblings, and couldn’t dream of anyone remotely close to me finding me out.
I was sick to my stomach the whole time I was trapped in the gallery as everyoneoohedandaahedover Mãe and her work. Several times, my parents came to scold me over being antisocial, but it took everything I had to keep what little food I had eaten yesterday from flying onto a vibrant sculpture, so I kept to my place near the front. Using the wall to prop myself up so I didn’t lose my footing, I tried to look at sculptures and paintings, but couldn’t help but constantly catch Amy in my line of sight.
She was so poised, professional, even calm. But she was mad. That was obvious enough when she walked away from our conversation the way she did. In hindsight, I probably should have not asked her to pretend we had never met. She was Lucy’s friend and Lucy was a colleague. In the moment, though, my mind was racing, and I panicked. That was the first and only thought that came to mind.
The way Mãe spoke of her, I wasn’t sure she even knew she was gay, but my knee-jerk reaction had always been to lie to my parents. I had never had to drag anyone else into it. Still, she may have been upset, but she complied with my request. That had to mean something,didn’t it?
I hoped to hear from her last night, but after dropping my parents off, then driving home, I waited up a couple of hours before I tried to sleep. The attempt was unsuccessful, so I was on my third cup of espresso when my phone alerted me of a text as I sat at the table reviewing emails.
Amy: I’m not sure what to say, but I feel like we need to talk.
Me: I would love to talk. Are you busy tonight?
Amy: Actually, yes. I have to be at the gallery with your mother for a bit. Maybe tomorrow is better.
Me: I understand. Can I come to your place?
There was a long pause. Maybe she was changing her mind about talking. The thought of not seeing her was causing knots in my stomach. After the longest minute of my life, text bubbles appeared.
Amy: Fine.
I suppose I deserved the short answer.
Me: I will bring dinner. Around 7?
She sent back a thumbs up. A thumbs up! Shewasmad. But not so mad that she never spoke to me again.
I put her in a difficult position: lying to Mãe for me last night. And she’d see her again tonight. But her family was different, and her life was different. She didn’t understand.
I pushed the small ceramic cup away from me as my hands trembled. I wasn’t sure if I was more nervous to see her again or to explain myself.
Surely, she knew other women who needed discretion. I pondered back on all she told me and what I learned of her at the upscale bar. She only mentioned one relationship, and that was several years ago. And the women at the bar made it sound like she was not the type to be serious. Even her best friend called her a player. She seemed insulted by that, but maybe she was, in a way, a player. Had she never had to deal with this?
My only hope was to explain my family and ask for her understanding. I should probably also apologize for what I asked of her. She was complex, but I didn’t see her as a liar. I was so used to it now, but for someone who lived so openly, she probably never had to lie. Most people are honest, except for a few white lies to save someone’s feelings.
I spent the rest of the day trying to focus on the emails and securing gigs, but scheduling was becoming difficult. Lucy said she would love to have the band back out at the club, and I had sent her a clip from a new band I just signed a contract with, and she liked it as well. As easy as it would be to get both into the club again, I wasn’t sure I was ready to go that route. Not yet anyway.
I needed to speak to Amy before I could sort out work. That only compounded the whole situation.
What a mess I have made for myself. I never should have gone back to the club.
Chapter 19
Amy
“Darling, it is still as lovely as last night. Are you well?” Maria asked as she grabbed my shoulders and kissed my cheeks.
