Page 14 of Served
“You got some nasty cuts here, too. Want me to fix them?”
He shook his head and his voice had dropped a couple octaves, “No, it’s fine. It’ll heal.” He reached his hand to my face. “I’m more worried about you.” That sent tingles all over me and I drew in a deep breath.
“Jason, a few minutes ago, when I asked if it hurt. You said it wasn’t the cut, it was me,” my breathing was deepening further but I needed to know, “what did you mean?”
He had been leaning against the counter but when that passed my lips he stood, still holding my face but coming in close, inches from me.
“Lucy, there is so much I want to say, but I don’t think this is the time.” He looked even more pained now than before. Hearing those words made me ache. I needed him to say it now. I needed something good to happen right now.
I moved up against him and placed my hand on his chest, “Jason, I need this night to be something else. Anything else.”
I could feel his heart pounding under my hand. I was enveloped in his scent being so close. I hoped I was right and decided to take a chance. I stood on my tiptoes and leaned my face up to his, lingering at his lips, his breath warm on my face. He didn’t move, but didn’t move away, either. I was already almost to his lips and decided I wanted to go in. No, Ineededto go in.
I stood on my toes and pressed my lips lightly to his for a second. That brief kiss only made me sure I wanted more. He didn’t resist and I felt his chest quiver under my hand, so I ran my hand up to his neck and leaned in again, more intentionally this time. I felt his lips react to mine this time and felt him blow a big breath out at the same time. His hand pushed through my hair, the other grabbing my hip, slowly wrapping around my waist.
I pulled him close against me and he had a handful of my hair in his hand as I made a fist around his shirt. We melted into each other and everything around us disappeared. The only things left in existence were him and I. It was a kiss I had never been given. He held me firmly but with great care as he attacked my mouth with a primal ferocity. I was lost in him completely, in this moment in time. My body had never felt so positively charged. Literally like he turned a switch on inside me. But also, just so right. So natural. I wanted more.
I moved my hands over his chest, letting my palms experience the feel of him slowly, moving to his tight abs as I started bunching his shirt in my hands, ready to push it up over his head. My push was met with resistance, and he pulled his mouth from mine. Desperation for his lips to be back on mine took over me and I pulled him back to me and he kissed me hard again but then he reached back again and grabbed another handful of hair to pull my face from his.
He was laboring to breath and his lips were swollen, “Lucy, this is wrong. I can’t do this.”
I dropped my arms and jerked my head from his grasp. I couldn’t look up at him. I was so confused and angry.
I felt my throat shaking as I quietly pushed out words, “I thought-you said. I don’t understand.”
He stepped back to me, almost against me, gently stroking my hair and he quietly explained, “Lucy, you’ve had a rough night. I’m here. But this doesn’t feel right.”
The attack came flooding back as his words shot reality back into the room. I just wanted to feel like I did moments ago, when everything else but the two of us was gone. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw him out, fight him, or try to kiss him again. I definitely wanted to kiss him again, but I wasn’t sure I could take the rejection a second time.
“Lucy, do you want me to go?” he asked in a low voice as he continued to stroke my hair.
My brain was trying to decide if I was willing to admit I wanted him to stay in spite of what happened when I heard the front door close.Amy was home.
I panicked, not wanting her to see me in my current state. She usually would poke her head in to see if I fell asleep with my lamp on and turn it off, so I pushed past Jason and ran to lock the bedroom door. I heard her wiggle it just as I did.
Amy spoke through the door, “Hey, you up? You with lover boy?” Wow that stung, but she didn’t know anything happened.
I replied through the door, “Um no, but Jason’s here. I’ll catch you in the morning maybe, love you.”
I heard a huff through the door, “Jason, like bartender Jason? Okay, but you better be ready to talk tomorrow. Love you, bitch.”
I turned around and Jason was standing in the bathroom door, practically taking up the whole space.
“Well, she knows it’s me, so I guess it won’t matter if I walk out of here.” He started to walk slowly toward me. “Unless you want me to stay.”
My emotions were all over the place. After everything that happened, I figured it didn’t matter to admit it now. I didn’t want him to leave. And even though he pushed me away, he offered to stay.
“I need you to stay,” I answered him quietly.
He pulled me gently to him and kissed my forehead as his arms wrapped around me. This only created a pain from where his lips pressed down to my toes, but I wasn’t ready to be rejected again and didn’t want him to go if I pushed him by trying again.
“Then I’m here to serve you.” His words were meant innocently, I knew it. But the sound of it created a burn inside me. Dear God, why did he have to be so chivalrous?
I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed, but he pulled the covers back and let me climb in. He helped me pull my boots off and covered me once I climbed all the way in, but he went toward the chair in the corner.
“No, I need you here.” I patted the bed next to me. He was still for a moment but turned and walked to the bed.
“Just to sleep, right?” I nodded my head. As much as I wanted him, I didn’t want to push him away now. And he was probably right. The whole day had been filled with the full spectrum of emotion. It was probably best not to do anything now.
