Page 50 of The Way Home
I sighed, letting his words flow over me and fill in the holes my anxious mind carved out. “I love you bigger, too.”
On the porch, I sat on the steps, with the breeze cooling the heat crawling up my neck. I stared at her contact on my phone, working up the nerve to start the call.I can do this. Jeremy is real. This is happening. I couldn’t hide him, and I didn’t want to.
I hit the phone and pressed it up to my ear, holding my breath as it rang. When it clicked, my heart squeezed in my chest.
“Hi, Riley. How are you? I thought you were going to call me back yesterday. Is everything okay?”
“Hi, Mom. Yes. Everything is good. I… was processing some stuff and needed a little more time.”
“What kind of stuff? What’s going on?” I could hear the concern in her voice.
“Well, I’ve got something to tell you. It’s not bad, I promise. I mean, I hope you won’t see it that way.” I stared at my phone and cursed internally. This wasn’t how I wanted this to go.
“Talk to me, sweetie. What is it?”
I huffed out a breath. “Okay. So… do you remember when we first moved from California, I met someone.”
“I do. I remember you coming home all excited because you met this nice boy at the church lock-in, which youdidn’twant to go to, so you’re welcome.”
I chuckled despite the weight of the news I needed to break. “Thank you. Anyway, we dated for a few months.”
“Yeah. What was his name? Something unusual, like a diamond or crystal or something.”
“It was Jem.” I was always careful not to use his nickname around the family after our parents got together, but it was the only name I mentioned to my mom when we’d been dating. My lips tilted up at saying his name again to her now. Yeah, there was no keeping this to myself anymore.
“Right. Jem. It brought me so much joy to see you so happy. But something happened, and you stopped talking about him. I wanted to ask, but I kept hoping you would come to me when you were ready.”
“I was never ready, Mom. The thing is… I loved him, liketrulyloved him, and I haven’t stopped thinking about him since.”
“Okaaay? So you’re ready now?”
I laughed awkwardly. “Well, I have to be.”
“Did something happen? Oh! Is he there in town?” She asked.
“Yeah… he’s here.”
I could practically hear her eyes light with understanding. “I see. So have you guys reconnected?”
“We have.”
“And? Is that good, bad, mediocre?”
I heard Jeremy saying, ‘I love you bigger,’ and felt it move through my body, making my chest feel light. “It’s really,reallygood. I love him, Mom. The love I thought we had before is nothing compared to what it is now. I’m so fucking happy, I don’t even know what to do with it. This is real. And it’s good. Jem is… wonderful, and he’s my home.”
“Oh, Ri, sweetie. Nothing could make me happier than to hear that. You know that’s what I’ve always wanted for you. I’m not saying I think you needed a partner to feel complete, but I’m saying your happiness is my joy. To know you are loved onlyadds to that. Now what I don’t understand is why you’ve been so secretive about it.”
“Uh, right. Well, there’s a reason for that. I need you to listen. Please, just listen.”
I heard a shuffling sound on her end of the call, like she was moving a chair to sit down. “I’m listening, sweetie. Whatever it is, know I love you.”
“Thank you.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “So, the thing is… Jem isn’t his actual name.”
“Okay?” I was sure she had a million questions, but she was keeping up her end of the agreement and listening.
“The boy I loved back then, and the man Istilllove… it’s, uh, it’s Jeremy.” I wanted to pull the hood of my sweatshirt up and hide inside it.
“Jeremy? Jeremy who?”
