Page 40 of Hero & Villain
She took the tray and glanced at Dirk with an open mouth, but he was looking at me with a funny expression, closer to amusement than shock and horror. She marched off full of indignation.
“The next time you come here, someone will spit in your food,” he said, handing me a wrapped turtle burger, whatever that was.
“She definitely has spit designs.” I took a big bite of the actually incredibly delicious burger. “Doesn’t it bother you when girls objectify you?” I asked before taking another big bite. Was it okay for me to eat such high fat carb food? Would he mind if I put on some weight? I could eat around him and then be neurotic about food when I was alone. I was so tired of being neurotic about food. If he wanted to be my big brother, I could eat whatever I wanted.
He scratched his head and peeled the wrapper back. “Is that what she was doing? What’s the difference between a girl being friendly and objectifying me? Just for future reference.”
“Whether she’s pretty. It’s the same thing, really, and the same with men. A rich, handsome man can get away with all sorts of behavior that a poor ugly man would be arrested for.” I took another vicious bite.
“So many injustices in life. I’m handsome and wealthy, ergo, I can get away with all sorts of things. What do you let me get away with, Princess Pink?”
“I’m not motivated by looks or money. It’s one of my quirks. I’m actually less likely to find a pulchritudinous male attractive. That’s a lie. It makes absolutely no difference. Money, though, I definitely despise men with money much more than poor musicians.”
He laughed and stuck a gooey deep-fried vegetable in my mouth. It was incredibly good, so I took another one, dipping it in the sauce without his permission.
“Your ex wasn’t rich?” he asked.
“Of course he was rich. I shouldn’t have overlooked it, but we all make mistakes.”
“If he was poor it wouldn’t have ended badly?”
“It would have been much different. He was okay. He’d make me laugh sometimes. He took me to the symphony the opening night of anything new. I liked his mother.”
“Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say that they liked their significant other’s mother.”
“Well, he was a pervert, so she hoped I’d fix him. I think that’s why she was so nice to me.”
“Did you fix him?”
“I should have.” I made a snipping motion and then took a bite out of his sandwich. Not that mine wasn’t fine, but his looked better. Why was I talking so much to him? Maybe I was just trying to put down his guard by pretending to believe that he wanted me to be his little sister, or maybe I was tired of pretending and just wanted to exist as myself for a little while, whoever that was.
“Hey, Pinkie, you don’t steal other people’s food. That’s foul criminal behavior.”
“I paid for it. I even tipped. Twice really, because I gave Tansy excellent advice about dealing with couple customers.”
He leaned over and took a big bite out of my sandwich at least three times larger than my bite had been. “Mm.” He chewed noisily and then licked his lips. “Yours is better.”
“You’re disgusting. Trade.”
“No, it’s only better if you’re holding it. It’s a law in Physics. I had a whole class on it at Harvard. Harold Bingham the Fifteenth made an excellent point about it.”
I hesitated then took another bite out of his. It really did taste better when he was holding it. “Who can argue with science?” I asked after swallowing the huge bite that I’d barely been able to chew.
“Anyone can argue with anything.”
“That’s you. You argue about everything, don’t you? Someone told you not to be a ninja, and it started this whole debacle that ended in the desert with a migraine.”
“You’re really proud of that whole thing, aren’t you? Some people would be ashamed. I didn’t have a migraine. I was just fine. Not even a trace of dizziness.”
“How could I not be proud of that? Do you know how many people can perfectly render someone unconscious without any lasting side-effects?”
“You’ve clearly had a lot of practice.”
“Yes. My cousin…” I blinked and started eating as quickly as I could, because having my mouth occupied was apparently the only thing that could shut me up. I’d talked to him way too much. I mean, I’d talked about Clint’s mother. Who does that? No one.
“Tell me about your most recent fling’s mother,” I said, frowning at him.
He raised a dark brow. “I don’t think you mean fling. I don’t know the mothers of my flings. That would be awkward.”
