Page 225 of The End of the World As We Know It
Then Susie takes a brave step forward. “Are we dead?”
Tom and Ezra both react: one, delighted, the other, appalled. Susie holds Tom’s gaze.
“Aw, sweet child,” Tom says at last. “You’re not dead. No more than anyone else who’s ever asked that question.”
“Wonderful!” Ezra exclaims. “Confirmation! From such an obviously trustworthy source. If you’re satisfied, can weplease—”
“I want to hear what else he has to say,” Susie says with measured patience. “I think he might… know things.”
A wicked grin smears across Tom Bombadil’s face, behind his beard. “I know lots of things. But I’ll warn you, most people find what I know to beimmenselyunsatisfying. That’s kinda my deal.”
“Where are we?” she asks. “What’s going on? Where is everybody?”
Ezra groans again. “Weknowwhat’s going on. There was a pandemic. A catastrophic event. These things happen. But we survived.”
Tom watches them like a gleeful tennis spectator. “Wow, you twodefinitelyaren’t on the same page here. (That’s funny for a number of reasons.)”
“Shut up,” Ezra says.
“I bet you two haven’t even asked each other who the president is.”
“SHUT UP.”
“There’s too much confusion,” Tom sighs. “We can’t get no relief. There must be some kind of door out of here.”
Outside, more thunder. The machine-gun drumroll of heavy rain.
Susie has gone pale. “A door.”
“I don’t want to hear any of this,” Ezra seethes to himself.
“Look,” Tom says. “You can’t expect everything to make sense, okay? You’re both basically drafts. Ur-texts. But the connectionsarethere.”
Susie runs her hands over her face. When she removes them, tears are spilling. “This is all just so confusing. Please, what is going on? What’s happening to us?”
Tom cocks his head, a portrait of sympathy. “Take heart, little one!You’rein better shape than most. After all, you’re still in print!”
“What?”
“You don’t really belonghere. You only think you do—and wish you do. Youthinkyou do, because this is the same story. But it’s a different version, I’m afraid. And youwishyou do because… well, that’s all you ever wanted, right? To find somewhere to belong. To be needed by someone. So you foundthisguy.” He cocks a thumb at Ezra.
Ezra feels his cheeks burn. Rage swells.
“Are you finished yet?” He asks through gritted teeth. “Now that you’ve made a kid cry?”
“I’mnota kid.” Susie wipes at her eyes.
“She’s better off than you, Mr. Ez L!” Tom says. “She might be ancillary, butyou?” He shakes his head mournfully.
Ezra’s jaw clenches even tighter. His hands wring the strap of his duffel bag across his chest. “What about me?”
“I already said, dummy!” Tom hops off the counter. Starts putting on his yellow trench coat. “There’s been a revision.And you didn’t make the cut.”
Sensing the rising tension, Susie says, “Look. Can we all just cool out? There’s no need to make this heavier than it needs to be.”
“It is getting awfully feverish in here, isn’t it? I should be getting back to my wife, anyway. This particular Somewhere is no more. Nowhere, man. Please listen, they won’t know what they’re missing. Iamglad you two found each other, though. I hope you’ve helped each other feel a little more complete. Merrily merrily merrily, the story is almost ov—”
A monstrous fury overcomes Ezra. Bellowing, he swings his bag of canned goods as hard as he can at Tom’s head, hoping to shut the guy up, hell, maybe even knock his head clean off his shoulders—
