Page 64 of Objection
“Good, you know you can always call me, right?” I wished I could have hugged her right then. But I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to be around others just yet.
“Love you, girl.” I could hear her smile through the phone.
“Love you, too, and I promise to call soon.”
We hung up, both promising to do lunch soon. For now, I had research to do. I read articles, went through the books I had already read, and in the end, I had even read through a message board of submissives until I found this very topic. It had been enlightening to say the least. Now, I needed to talk to Soren.
The next night, at dinner, I found my opening. He was being stoic and distant.
“So,” I began, clearing my throat while I pushed the chicken and vegetables around on my plate. “We should talk.”
“Yes, I suppose we should,” he agreed, looking as awkward as I felt.
“Thank you for giving me space,” I started, lamely.
“Of course.” Great, short answers. He wasn’t going to make this easy on me.
“I was struggling with how I felt after our scene,” I tried again, trying for blunt honesty this time.
“How so?”
“Well, I honestly felt like a failure,” I admitted.
“Posey, you are the furthest thing from a failure! This is why you needed to open up and talk to me.” His almost angry frustration at my words caught me off guard.
“No, I couldn’t justtalkto you!” I countered.
“And why not?”
“Well, because it’s not that simple.” I pushed the food around on my plate harder, rolling my eyes and dropping the fork with a loudclankwhen I shoved a piece of chicken clear off my plate and onto the tabletop.
“It is that simple. Just talk,” he deadpanned.
“I didn’t know how I felt yet.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” he scoffed.
“Exactly!” I cried out, gesturing at him with a humorless laugh. He looked at me like I had grown an extra head. “Soren, I needed time to figure out how I felt. I used a safeword and I felt so many things. I needed the last two days to figure out what those feelings were and to figure out how to talk to you about them.”
“You should be able to talk to me about anything,” he said almost dejectedly.
“You’re right. I should. But I’m not one of your experienced subs who can just handle things. I am figuring things out. I know how important communication is in this and I needed to figure out how that looked for me. So, I’m here now. Ready to talk.” I panted, feeling out of breath after the short tirade.
“Well, I have not liked how this space has felt on my end,” he gruffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why not?” I asked curiously.
“Because I should be the person you feel safest to come and talk to, that’s why.” His vulnerability in this moment was almost palpable. Being vulnerable wasn’t easy for him, that much I could tell.
“Yes, but Soren, just like you said, trusting you completely would take time, that building my submission and our dynamic like that would take time… don’t you think that this will also take time? Me being able to come to you immediately, that doesn’t come naturally to me. I need to sort out my feelings first,” I tried to explain further.
“But, why? To what end?” he argued, sitting forward in his chair.
“Because I tend to react really emotionally sometimes. And that’s absolutely valid, but it helps me when I’m trying to communicate, if I first know what I’m feeling emotional about and what the actual underlying issues are, that’s why,” I fought right back, my sassy tone firmly in place.
“Watch your tone.” His eyebrow arched up.
“Watch your pouting,” I countered, my own eyebrow arching up.
