Page 104 of Leviticus
A silence fell over the room as we all began to sip our tea.
“Well?” Mama finally spoke, gesturing to me as she did.
“Yes, Mama?” I asked, unsure of what she wanted.
“Well, don’t you have something to say?” Mama prompted, but I still was not following her.
“I am not sure I know what you’re talking about, Mama,” I stammered. I had no idea what she was getting at.
“Do you not have an announcement to make, Mrs. Temple?” Mrs. Price offered, filling in the blank for me. Oh.
“Yes, I thought that perhaps you were too shy to announce it to such a large crowd at church, so I thought I would give you a smaller group to make your announcement to first. It can be quite nerve-wracking the first time,” Mama tittered, with Mrs. Price nodding along with a conspiratory grin.
“Mama, I’m sorry to say that, no, I do not have an announcement to make,” I said with a sigh. I knew that it sounded as though my sigh was one of sadness or disappointment. In reality, it was a sigh of exasperation.
“What do you mean? Of course you do,” Mama argued. I could not believe her. It was embarrassing enough to have to say such things in front of my family, but to bring Adah’s mother-in-law along with?
“Mama, I am not with child,” I stated, making sure there was no question of exactly what I was saying.
You could have heard a pin drop.
“It’s likely still too early to tell,” Mama tried to reason, but I shook my head.
“Mama, please, not now,” I whispered, my head down and my eyes fixated on my cup of tea.
“Ruth, my child, you are simply new to the ways of womanhood. Isn’t that right, Mrs.Price? These things can be tricky to decipher in the first weeks.” Mama and Mrs. Price both shared a knowing chuckle and my eyes lifted to find Adah. Her eyes changed from cold and calculating to understanding. But it was a just a moment. Just a flash of almost compulsory compassion. And then it was gone.
“No, Mama,” I stated firmly, finding my inner strength, but holding it in a firm reign as Levi and I had discussed. I still had a role to play, a mask to wear. “My cycles started just this morning. It was not to be. Not this time. But I am certain the Lord will bless us very soon.”
“Blessed be the Lord,” the women at the table recited like robots. How had I never truly noticed that? It felt wrong, it felt sickening. Where was their tact? Where was their humanity? No wonder Levi and his brothers were so anxious to get away from this place.
I could not dwell too long on the thought of leaving. As much as I knew it was the right choice, to stay with Levi and to begin a life with him away from this place — leaving my family hurt like a knife stuck firmly in my chest.
“I’m certain it is just too early to tell, Ruth, dear. Give it a few more days! I know this is a confusing time for you, but—”
“Mama! I have said all I am going to say on the matter!” I knew it was wrong. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, but I could not help it. Adah looked at me with a smirk on her face, yet nothing in her expression told me that she had my back. No, if anything, Adah gave me a feeling of unease and worry.
The quiet drug on for a long moment before Mama finally responded.
“Well, I think Ruth needs a little time to pray about her fertility today. Come, ladies. Let us leave her to her prayers. We will see you on Sunday, Ruth.” Mama flitted around the table, helping Adah to her feet and bustling the three of them towards the door. I saw them out with a sigh. On one hand, I was grateful they were gone, but on the other, I knew that what had just transpired had not done Levi or I any favors. I could hear my father’s car puttering down the road as I made my way back to the dining room. I began to clear the table when there was another knock on the door, not five minutes later.
I rolled my eyes so hard I swore I could see my own thoughts. If Mama had more to say, she was just going to have to keep it to herself. I took a deep breath, trying to center myself before answering the door and reminding myself of the plan Levi had made and my role to play within it.
“Mama, I — Oh!” I stopped short, opening the door to see not my own mother but Levi’s mother standing there.
“Don’t you worry about a thing, Ruth. I do not mind if you call me Mama,” she spoke with a saccharine sweetness that was a fake as anything I had ever heard before. Without prelude, she nudged my shoulder, pushing me to the side as she waltzed into our home like she owned it. “Did I just see your father driving down the road towards town?”
“Oh, um, yes, I believe so,” I answered awkwardly, taking her coat as she held it out to me as though I were a coat rack and not her daughter-in-law.
“I am sorry to have missed your little afternoon tea, it seems,” she muttered, her eyes roving over the still cluttered dining table. “Do fetch us something to drink, will you, Ruth? It’s high time I got to know my daughter.” Again, that sugary sweet, false voice grated on my nerves.
I quickly fetched us drinks and sat adjacent to her at the dining room table. As we sat in silence, sipping the tea I had prepared, I realized how much I had wished Mama was still here. At least I knew Mama. I knew how to handle her, though I did not make a good show of such things today, to be sure.
“Hey, Ruth, I forgot my —”
“We are in here, Son,” his mother called loudly.
“Mother?” I could hear the panic in his voice. As he walked into the room, I saw that his face showed no emotion, but his eyes said a million other things. “What are you doing here, Mother?”
