Page 12 of Leviticus
“I want you to know that it will be okay.” His eyes stayed right there on mine and I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to be alone during this and, according to Mama, it would be over quickly. Nothing to be worried about or ashamed about when serving the Lord.
With a small nod of my head, we pulled apart and I was led to the bed. The Reverend and Elder Titus, Leviticus’s father, flanked Elder Jared. All of these men were going to bear witness to my inspection? Why had I thought it would only be a doctor and my new husband?
“Let us begin. Mrs. Temple, you shall lay here on the bed for your inspection. I trust your mother prepared you?” Reverend Jacob’s voice drew my attention as Leviticus stood there beside the mattress at my side, not leaving me for a moment. My blush was heating my cheeks, and I found it hard to look at anyone in attendance. This was hands down the most mortifying thing I had ever endured. Yet, Mama assured me this was standard procedure and is expected of women to prove their purity. The Lord commanded it. With a deep breath, I found my bravery and steeled myself against the embarrassment that was washing over me like a tidal wave. Elder Jared sat in a chair at the foot of the bed, looking very much like the doctor, without the white coat or my mother present. Reverend Jacob stood directly to his left and Elder Titus to his right.
“She did,” I answered, making sure my voice was strong and could be heard easily. It would not do to come to this with hesitation. That was what Mama had said.
“Good. Now, please place yourself here,” Reverend Jacob instructed. Leviticus helped me onto the bed. I almost lost my balance as I tried to move around my mother’s dress and the hefty veil. At least it was no longer over my face. Reverend Jacob came into view and spoke to Leviticus about making sure my veil was not hindering my face in any way. That my face must be in view during the ceremony.
Suddenly, hands grasped my ankles beneath my dress, pulling my legs apart gently and setting my feet flat against the mattress. But they did not release me. Their hands, Elder Titus’s and Reverend Jacob’s, held me fast as I was spread for all to see. My undergarments hid me from view, but I knew in my head that my privacy was about to be taken away.
This was the penance for being a woman. This was the price we paid as women for the sin of Eve’s deception. This was as the Lord commanded.
My mother’s words repeated over and over in my brain like a mantra as I squeezed my eyes shut tight.
“Now, do your best to relax, my dear. This is standard procedure,” Elder Jared explained with a kindness that felt almost sickeningly sweet. I heard the sound of the metal shears before I felt them. My undergarments were tugged away from my body as he cut them to shreds, exposing me to the cool, damp air of the basement chambers. My eyes popped in surprise, the ceiling above me covered in swirling patterns of plaster that had been made long before I had come to this world.
I felt Levi’s hand in my own, squeezing and drawing my gaze to his own. Before my eyes could settle on his, however, I saw just what was happening. The men in the room, the Elders of this church, had circled in close to see what was happening. I felt hands on my inner thighs as my legs were pressed almost impossibly wide.
“Let us begin.” My eyes went wide as fear gripped me like a vise. My eyes began to shift back towards the circle of men now crowding the thin mattress, but Leviticus stopped me.
“Right here, Ruth.” His words were so soft I felt them more than heard them. His blue eyes, stormy and dark like the sea at the beginning of a storm held my own fast. His hand held my own and I took a deep breath as I felt hands move up my inner thighs towards the apex, my most private of places.
Mama had said it would be quick. Over in a flash. But as Elder Jared’s hands parted my core and his fingers touched me, I found the truth.
Mama had lied.
She had lied and she had done so to the point that I felt I could never forgive her for this horror I now faced.
“Don’t look away,” Leviticus’s voice whispered, his lips barely moving. On the surface, he showed no sign of being anything more than the stoic new husband. But his eyes held mine like he knew. Perhaps he did. Perhaps he didn’t. Perhaps this was simply as awkward for him as it was for me.
Fingers pulled my tenderness apart to the point I winced in mild pain. Leviticus’s hand gripped mine tighter, threading his fingers between my own in comfort and support. Two things I took from him like a lifeline.
It went on for what felt like hours, as the men looked at me spread open and bare. All the while, sounds of jubilation and revelry played on above us. Sounds of laughter and the stomping of dancing carried on, the participants fully unaware of what different acts played on down here in the depths of this room.
No, that wasn’t true. Many of them did know. And that made it all the worse.
“She is pure,” Elder Jared finally admitted with a pride that made me feel ill. I paid it no heed, keeping my eyes on Leviticus.
“Rejoice and praise be to God!” Reverend Jacob called out. His hand stayed on my ankle as did Elder Titus. My father-in-law.
“Praise be to God!” the group of Elders called in response.
“The Lord has blessed the Follower of His Path!”
“Leviticus Temple, it is time you claim your rightful place as the head of your new family and as the owner of your new wife. May your union be blessed and be made to bear fruit,” Reverend Jacob instructed with such joy, as though he were giving the Lord’s sermon from the pulpit rather than from between my thighs.
Leviticus’s hand left mine and I felt the instant cold chill of loss. His father continued to hold my ankle, as did the Reverend, but Elder Jared moved away, making room for Leviticus to stand between my thighs in his place. My eyes found his once more. The strength I felt from his eyes during my inspection was now replaced with a look of such sadness it was impossible not to read the apology written in their murky blue depths.
I’m sorry.
His silent words may as well have been shouted from the rooftops as he pressed forward into my folds and claimed my purity, stealing my innocence and cementing our union for life as God had commanded.
Praise be to God.
It felt like there was no praise here.
This felt nothing like what my mother had told me.
