Page 14 of Leviticus
“Thank you, Mother.” She hugged me close, and I cherished the moment. My mother, for all she was involved with, was not an inherently unkind woman. I would miss her most of all when we left, but that was a thought for another day.
“Ruth and I will be heading out shortly, Mother,” I whispered as we hugged for just a moment longer.
“Of course, of course. I am proud of you, Son,” she whispered back. Leaving her to women’s gossip, and went off in search of my brothers. I found them congregated in a corner of the room, each seeming to appear inconspicuous and invisible to the clucking hens of mothers in search of husbands for their daughters.
“We will be heading home soon,” I spoke quietly as I joined them.
“Are you okay?” Ollie asked quietly. Each of them looked at me with a million questions in their expressions. Questions I needed to discuss. Questions I couldn’t answer here; not now.
“Not even remotely,” I breathed out heavily, not wanting to think for too long on what had just transpired. My eyes found Ruth among the crowd. She was talking with her mother and older sister, hugging them each in turn. As soon as my eyes found her, I immediately began looking around the room at the Elders who had been in attendance in that dark chamber below this room. They each laughed and talked amongst themselves, enjoying the festivities as though nothing had happened. Then again, to them, perhaps nothing had.
“That bad?” Gideon asked with trepidation.
“Worse. We’ll talk soon. I promise. But for now, I need to get my wife away from this place and try to somehow fix… everything.” I sighed heavily once more, my brothers each saying goodbye to me one by one before I made my way back to Ruth’s side. I didn’t like the feeling of being away from her. Not after today.
How the hell was I going to make this right? I had no intentions of loving this woman. No intentions of some sweeping romance or anything like it. But I had thought there would be respect and trust. Kindness. After what I had just done, after what I had let those men do, I didn’t know how she could even manage to look at me.
Regardless of how I felt on the matter, I would do everything in my power to make Ruth feel safe in my home over the next month. I would make sure she never felt that way again. Not if I could help it.
“Are you ready?” I asked quietly, touching Ruth’s elbow as I approached, not wanting to startle her. She turned her face towards me, smiling at me only slightly. The sadness I read there in those dark depths matched my own feelings of this day, a day that was supposed to be full of joy and celebration. I swore then and there that I would replace that sadness with joy again someday. In some way, I would give her a chance at happiness.
“I am,” she finally spoke, turning back to her family and hugging them one last time.
“Come.” With a smile that betrayed my emotions, I led her from the fellowship hall and out into the chilly September air. I helped her into my car, opening the door for her and helping her stuff the massive veil and the long length of her dress into the passenger seat. I closed the door gently and allowed myself a deep, cleansing breath of the cool night air to get my head on straight.
I sat down in the driver’s seat and started the car. My brothers had loaded her things into the backseat and into the trunk. The clear night sky shone with glittering stars. It was an incredibly beautiful night as we drove away from town and towards my home. All five of us brothers had acquired property outside of town, choosing to build homes instead of staying close to town. The decision had been met with minimal argument from the Elders, but when we explained our need to be closer to God’s country, to be one with nature, Reverend Jacob had acquiesced.
I looked over at my new bride; her face looking out of her window, her skin almost glowing in the pale moonlight. A single tear slipped down to her cheekbone before she quickly brushed it aside and took a slow, deep, and silent breath.
She was strong. So much stronger than I had imagined.
I pushed my self-loathing down deeper once more. This wasn’t about me. Tonight wasn’t about me.
We drove into the night for nearly twenty minutes, weaving through the backwood roads as they twisted and wound around towards my home. We all lived out this way, the five of us. By way of the crow, we weren’t actually far from town at all. A few miles at most. But by road it was a different story. The dirt roads were not easy to navigate and became downright treacherous during the winter months. A fact the five of us were not sad about. It afforded us an extra level of privacy we all desperately craved.
I pulled my car into my driveway, noting the lights turned on inside. My brothers had made sure the house was in order one last time while I had been preparing for the wedding festivities at the church. With a deep breath, I turned to her.
“Ruth, before we go inside, I just need you to know something,” I began.
“Yes, Leviticus?” she answered with that same fake smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“No, no, please don’t do that. Don’t be false with me. This day has been… well, difficult isn’t even the word, is it?” I tried to reason with her, to make her feel a little more comfortable. “I just need you to know that you are safe here.”
“Of course I am. You are a pious man of God, Leviticus, and I am honored to be your wife.” Her words may as well have been scripted and torn straight from the pages of Reverend Jacob’s bible.
I looked her over, searching her face for any sign that I might get through to her right now. I found no trace. She was the picture of a happy little Stepford wife, just like my mother.
“Alright then, let’s adjourn,” I stated with a heavy sigh of resignation. I came around to her door and helped her from the car. We walked to the front door in pure silence, that same false smile planted firmly on Ruth’s face.
I unlocked the door and opened it for her. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, wondering if I should lift her into my arms and carry her across the threshold. She took the decision from me, choosing to walk into the home before I had the chance to make up my mind. Perhaps it was for the better. I didn’t want to touch her. Not after all of… that. I hardly wanted to be near her. Not until she wanted me near her. Not that being near her was my goal. But we did need to keep up pretenses on some level.
Fuck, this was harder than I had anticipated.
“Here, um, just stay here and I’ll get your things from the car,” I stated awkwardly. She gave me a smile, this one meeting her eyes a little more than the last one had. I ran back to the car, pulling the suitcase from the backseat and opening the trunk. I had expected to find a plethora of bags and items, her belongings. I found one suitcase from the backseat and nothing more.
“Um, Ruth, I thought your parents were bringing your belongings before the ceremony, but there is only one bag in the car and —” I began, walking back into the entryway with the single suitcase and shutting the door.
“There is only one. Those are all of my belongings,” she explained almost shyly.
