Page 91 of Leviticus
“I guess for starters we should find out for sure. Is that okay?” I asked. I hated that I held so much trepidation in my voice. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings or be insensitive. Instead of being supportive, though, I feared I sounded like I felt: like I was walking around on eggshells.
“Sure, but don’t we need a doctor for that?” she asked.
“No, we can find out now possibly, but I want to say something first. I’m doing this all backwards and upside down. Ruth, I’m not going anywhere. I want to say that first and foremost.” I visibly saw her relax, and I followed suit, taking a deep breath.
“Do I think it’s best to start a family right now? No, it’s not the best time. But any child is a blessing. That much I do believe.” I kept my eyes on her, wanting her to see my sincerity.
“So if I am pregnant, you won’t be mad at me?” she asked quietly.
“Not in the slightest,” I spoke with all the honesty in my heart. “But I do think it prompts some big conversations we need to have.”
“So, how do we find out for sure, if not through a doctor?”
“With a test. It’s the same test the doctor uses in the early days,” I explained, standing from from our seated position on the bed and leading her towards the bathroom.
“Why do you have them?” It was a valid question.
“You’ll hopefully laugh at this, but Ollie. He gave me a whole sack full of them as a gag gift before we were married,” I explained.
“He gave you pregnancy tests as a joke?” She asked slowly, confused.
“Yes. It just that typically the women in Zion—” I began.
“Oh. I get it. Yes, the women of Zion tend to have babies as fast and as often as possible. I get it now, I think.” The way her expression and posture relaxed put me at ease.
“Okay, so here is the test,” I stated, reaching under the sink and pulling one of the wrapped tests from a box near the back of the cabinet. I pulled the test from the wrapping and handed it to her.
“How does it work?” she asked, turning the test this way and that in her hands.
“Well, you take this cap off, and you’ll have to pee on the end here. Within a few minutes it will tell you if you are pregnant or not,” I explained somewhat awkwardly. I don’t know why it made me feel so awkward, but it did. I had not anticipated her not knowing. I just assumed all women knew, but then again, that would mean mothers of Zion would have to teach their daughters, and heaven forbid that.
“My urine…Thatis what’s going to tell me if I’m pregnant or not? You’re pulling my leg,” she scoffed, and I didn’t blame her. It sounded ridiculous.
“I’m being serious. There are hormones in your body that tell us if you are or not. That is what is detected on this test,” I reiterated.
“Through my pee,” she stated slowly, her face pinched in distaste.
“Yes. The instructions are right here if you don’t believe me.” I pulled out the small folded up piece of paper that came with each test and handed it to her.
“Um, may I have some privacy?” she asked with a blush. I nodded my head and left the bathroom, closing the door behind me. What level of hell was this? I could not recall a time in my life where I had felt so off kilter, so awkward and so unsure all at the same time.
I looked in the mirror above my dresser, propping myself against the top of it.
“How did we get here?” I muttered to myself. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration and impatience. Perhaps this was why men paced the floor so often when they had wives. I had seen my father pace more often than I could count. I immediately stopped pacing, not enjoying the idea of doing anything remotely like my father.
I didn’t have to think on it any longer, as the bathroom door opened and Ruth’s face appeared, still flushed from her blushing.
“It is done,” she stated firmly, biting her lower lip.
“Well? What does it say?” I asked, rushing to her side as nervousness, sickening nervousness flooded my body.
“I don’t know yet. I just… finished the test. I put the cap back on and set it down on the counter, upside down.” She tugged me into the bathroom.
“Upside down? Why upside down?” I questioned, confused.
“Because I don’t want to see it. Or maybe I do. But not alone. Only with you.”
“You’re rhyming,” I teased and she swatted at my arm.
