Page 94 of Leviticus
“My leadership courses,” I stated dumbly. I knew this was coming, but as I looked around at the men gathered; the Elders of this church, I could only see one thing.
The men who had inspected my wife, who had watched as I had essentially raped her and consummated our marriage by their rules. I thought about just how many times this had happened and for how long. Christ, I had been to more than one wedding where the bride was barely fifteen.
My stomach knotted and curled in visceral response to the thought.
Clenching my jaw, I placed the mask of a devout man of Zion firmly on my face and walked into the room with a smile on my face. And I prayed to a God I wasn’t sure I even believed in that this whole charade would end as quickly as possible.
The class passed with ungodly slowness. It was not a class on teaching men to be godly leaders. No, it was a class where the Elders of the church told stories and boasted of their power. Sure, it was under the guise of being devout men of God. It was as though each of them told a story and found a verse they could skew into their own sordid version of acceptance and deliverance.
They literally spoke of their readiness and anticipation for the next wedding, but not for well-wishes of wedded bliss. They longed for the next consummation and inspection. Their words were twisted; taking words that looked decent enough on paper and adding a sordid and perverted undertone that could not be unheard, no matter how hard I tried.
As the clock ticked away the minutes until the class was over, I kept myself focused on the plan, on what it was all for.
“I see our newlywed is anxious to get back to his bride, not that I can blame him,” Elder Gates chuckled, and the room rose up in gales of laughter and agreement. Including Elder Shepard. Ruth’s own fucking father.
“Perhaps one of Ruth’s sisters could marry one of the younger Temple brothers,” Elder suggested.
“If we could be so blessed at such an arrangement,” Ruth’s father agreed with an ear to ear grin. It was all I could do to keep my breakfast contents firmly in my stomach. Ruth’s younger sisters were barely eight and twelve. Twelve! Gideon was twenty-three. It was disgusting. And here, Ruth’s father was happily agreeing to such a union.
Finally, the clock on the wall announced that class was over and it was time for church to begin. As much as I wanted to find my wife and whisk her away from this hell hole, we still had to attend service, we still had to keep up appearances. For now.
As I walked towards the sanctuary alongside the Elders, my father pulled me aside.
“Soon you will take your place with the Elders officially, Son. And nothing in this world would make me prouder than that. Now, take your place among the married men of the church and keep your heart upon God. He shall give you what you wish for most. After all, you are a Temple. An obedient servant of God’s command. And don’t you forget it.” I nodded. It was all I could do. My tongue and the insides of my cheeks felt raw from where I had bit them to keep quiet, to keep control.
As I took my seat in the upper deck of the sanctuary, and kept my hands firmly in my lap.
Control. I needed to keep my composure; keep control.
My eyes moved across the room to where the married women sat. There, almost directly across from me, was Ruth. Immediately, I could tell her morning had gone similarly to mine. She was rigid, controlled, eyes down. The perfect little Zion wife. The way her hands were held together in her lap, her fingers tightly woven together with white knuckles. I willed her to look up, to see me, to see that I was right here. That she wasn’t alone.
But she didn’t look up.
Her mother to one side, her mother-in-law on the other, she was flanked by her elders and surrounded by the women who had said God only knows what to her this morning. Christ, how I longed to take her away. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to tell her the truth, the full truth, tonight. My brothers would have to understand. And I would pray to any deity that had ever or would ever exist that she would understand.
Try as I might, as hard as I wished it, she did not look up at me. Instead, Reverend Jacob called us to attention and began his sermon. Her eyes stayed firmly lowered, looking at the Reverend as did every other woman seated across from us. I schooled my features, looking at the Reverend and pretending to pay attention. But my thoughts didn’t leave Ruth once. Not even for a moment.
We would get through this day. We would get through this time. And we would get away. Even if that meant she would leave me, we would get away.
The service ended an hour and a half later. The typical gossiping men and women hung around, but my eyes scanned the crowd for Ruth. I did not see her anywhere.
“Calm down, my son,” Reverend Jacob teased from behind me, clapping me on the back like some congratulatory gesture. “Your bride shall return to you shortly. There is much for her to discuss with the Elder women on her first day back in church as a married woman. A married Temple woman at that.” The Elder men who surrounded me all hummed and nodded in agreement. What nonsense were the women filling her head with? What did she have to talk about? I knew deep down that she would never tell anyone what happened within the walls of our home. My worries were firmly placed in what vitriol and vileness they were putting inherhead.
“You can’t blame a newly wedded man for being eager to get his new wife home, now can you?” I announced to the Elders, leaning into their archaic and disgusting joking.
“That’s my son. A true Temple, right there,” my father guffawed amongst the chuckles and laughter.
“There she is, young Temple. We hope you will be able to reign yourself in long enough to begin your leadership classes next Sunday,” Reverend Jacob teased. I nodded, crossing the room to where Ruth was surrounded by the Elder women. “Go forth and multiply!” the Reverend hollered as the entire lobby of people cajoled and raised in boisterous laughter.
“Excuse me, ladies,” I interrupted the women’s chattering. Ruth’s eyes still did not lift to meet mine. “I hate to be the one to break up the fun and discussions, but I must get my wife home to prepare for our lunch. Good day, ladies.”
I took Ruth’s hand and tucked it into the crook of my arm, leading her outside of the church. There was no response from her. Her arm was rigid, her body tense, and yet there seemed to be no life in her at all. She was more mannequin than human, and it filled me with fear.
I led her to the car, helping her into her seat before racing to my own door and buckling myself in. We sped out of the parking lot and yet, utter silence.
“Ruth?” I questioned softly, reaching a hand out to her. She pulled away as if she had been burned, setting that worrisome weight deeper into the pit of my stomach.
“Not now,” she barely breathed. I nodded, placing both of my hands on the steering wheel with the tightest grip I could as I sped us both towards our home.
