Page 101 of Gideon
“Welcome! Welcome!” my mother’s voice greeted us as the front door opened. They acted like we hadn’t just seen each other five minutes ago at the church. “We are so glad to host you both today.”
“We are glad to be here, Mrs. Cantor,” Gideon played the picture perfect Zion man. He was good at it, far better at the game than I was. I needed to get my shit together and stop letting things affect me. For all the changing I had done in my short time with Gideon, the one thing I hadn’t bet on was losing my touch at play-acting in this hellhole. Still, I plastered the smile on my face and played the game alongside my husband. The one thing working in my favor was that I could stay relatively quiet. It would show me as the wife I was expected to be. Meek, mild, and brainwashed. Just the way Zion liked their women.
“Please have a seat while Naomi and I prepare lunch.” My mother gestured for me to join her, but before I could even stand, Gideon interjected.
“Mrs. Cantor, surely you will not ask your guests to prepare their own meal,” he all but scoffed at my mother, like the idea was simply preposterous. I watched, my gaze flipping between my father’s face and my mother’s, as they both grappled with how to respond. Oh, this was delightful.
“Oh, uh, um…” my father stammered. “Of course not. Isn’t that right, Julia?”
“Of course! I only meant it as a way for Naomi and I to chat for a few,” my mother said with a smile.
“Well, as lovely as that is, I would prefer Naomi stay right here where I can see her,” Gideon interjected before I could speak. He was playing into the rumors that I was not exactly the picture of a submissive girl. I had heard talk between my father and Gideon’s, regarding how difficult a wife I may turn out to be. Ha, if they only knew.
“Of course,” my father said with a smile. “Run along, Julia.” My mother skittered off to the kitchen to prepare the meal while I sat next to Gideon, my father sitting across from us. Gideon’s face was stoic, serious. So very unlike him in any other setting.
“It has been a pleasure to see you among the ranks of Elders, Gideon,” my father praised. “It is good to see the town growing. I hope there will be news of much more growth soon, with all the Temple sons married off, or soon to be.”
He was fishing for information about procreation. It was disgusting, but completely expected.
“As do we. Between the five of us, I feel the town will soon be growing by leaps and bounds,” Gideon chuckled, patting a hand against my thigh with a look.
“So, no news between the two of you then?” Father asked, much more bluntly.
“It is too early yet to tell, but we hope to be making an announcement in the coming weeks,” Gideon answered in turn.
“I look forward to such an announcement,” Father responded.
“Naomi has learned what is good for her, and I am certain the Lord will bless us with such news any day now.” He turned a pointed gaze at me, and though the words were awful, I saw through them, knowing the truth of our plans; taking comfort in that truth.
“Naomi has often struggled to know her place and what is good for her. I wonder how it is you tamed her so quickly,” Father chuckled derisively. I wanted to look at him in shock. I was sitting right there. Right fucking there. And yet they spoke about me like I was a lamp, an inanimate object instead of a damn human being. I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t, but it didn’t soften the hurt of it. I had grown accustomed to being treated with so much respect by Gideon and his brothers. Being back here, in this place, made it worse than it ever had been.
“It was a struggle those first few days, to be sure,” Gideon answered quickly, like he didn’t even have to think about it. “It’s simply that she needed a good, firm, godly hand. Something she seemed to be lacking in her formative years.”
I did my best to not show any emotion, but his words hurt. It didn’t matter that I knew he was lying, that I knew he was playing a part. They still hurt.
“Naomi has always been a bit of trouble. I’m glad to see your father and I made such a fortuitous match with the two of you,” Father responded, shifting the glory back to himself.
“Indeed, I can see how she could be trouble. But within a few days, she learned her place. Such behavior will not be tolerated as a Temple. As the newest member of the Temple family, it was my duty to put her in her place. The challenge was one I was happy to accept. Temple men are not afraid of a challenge. We have the capabilities to handle things that… lesser men struggle with.” Gideon’s words were harsh, and not lost on my father. It was a low blow and a damn well placed one. I found it difficult not to smirk at such a comment directed at my high and mighty father.
Just as my father was about to comment, surely ready to shoot back with something equally nasty, my mother walked back into the room.
“Lunch is served, everyone. Please let us make our way to the dinner table,” she stated happily, that quintessential smile poised perfectly on her face.
“Let us break bread together,” my father announced, rising from his seat and gesturing for us to join them in the dining room. As we all took our seats, my father at the head of the table, a sense of familiarity washed over me. How many times had I sat at this table? How many meals had we shared where my father would angrily chastise us, all of us? My mother, my sisters, myself? Looking up from the empty plate before me, I was greeted by Gideon’s smiling face. Everything seemed somewhat more manageable with him beside me. I couldn’t do this again without him. No way. No how.
“Let us bow our heads in prayer,” my father began. “Dear heavenly Father. We gather here today to break bread among family, but more importantly, as your dutiful servants. We pray that You guide us, through Your holy word, to uphold the truth and the light as we walk through this life. We pray that You teach us to be humble servants of Your calling. We pray that You help us to work hard in our duty to become more like You, and to walk through this life in Your image. Lord, help us to populate the world for your glory.” Every word of his long-winded prayer settled like a heavy rock in my stomach, souring and festering sickly.
“Lord, we ask that You bless this new couple seated with us today. Honor them with Your children so that this world may grow to look more like the world You intended. Bless them with as many children as Naomi may bear, as is her duty given to us by Your word.”
Gross. So fucking gross.
“In Your blessed name, we pray. Amen,” Father finally concluded.
“Amen,” we all repeated dutifully. As I opened my eyes, I glanced first at Gideon, his stoic gaze mirroring my own. My parents both held smiles of happiness at the blessing given at the table, but I pushed it away with every ounce of my might.
I watched as my father took a bite, my mother and I waiting to raise our forks until he had taken at least two bites, as he had required of us for my entire life here. Gideon raised his fork, taking a bite, and then watched me.
“Eat, Naomi,” he commanded, and I lifted my fork to my mouth.
