Page 108 of Gideon
CHAPTER26
NAOMI
Gideon had talked often about the water, about how being on his boat gave him a reprieve from the rest of the world. I had never really understood it. Not until now. We sailed around the lake for hours. Until the sun had faded into the sky. Not a word was spoken between us. No words were needed. Just him, and me, and the open water.
The breeze blew across my face, droplets from the water drizzling lightly over my skin as we moved through the water easily. It was calm and serene. Nothing else existed but us out here. Here, I could forget about all the trauma, all the evil, all the horrible, awful things that Zion presented to me. To all of us, really.
Levi had a good plan. It really was a good plan. I just didn’t see how we were going to get from point A to point B, as things were. The men were all looking for the proof we needed, but nothing changed. Day to day, nothing changed at all, and it was hard not to feel both helpless and hopeless in the face of such uncertainty.
Half of me wanted to just leave. Pack up my things and get the hell out with Gideon at my side. That had been my plan all along. Well, not the part about Gideon, but still. I was going to get out and get away and live a full life away from all the atrocities here. I couldn’t do that now. There was no way I could leave knowing that more girls were being taken. I would never be able to live with myself if I knew I had walked away and done nothing. That didn’t make this any easier, though.
Instead, I let it all melt away, just for now, while we sailed around the lake.
As the sky grew dark around us, Gideon sailed the boat back towards the dock, quickly tying her off. I sat on the deck for a bit longer, not caring that we were docked and stationary now. Gideon joined me, sitting beside me in the peaceful quiet.
He let me be there in the quiet. He didn’t urge me to talk. Didn’t press me to explain or to express my feelings in any way. There was only compassion and understanding from this man. My husband.
I turned to look at him, his profile lit by the moon’s light as we rocked, the water lapping against the sides of the boat.
“Today was shit,” I muttered into the peaceful quiet of the night.
“It was,” he agreed, but said nothing else. He was content to let me be. I watched his face as he looked out over the water, a small smile playing at his lips. He was happy here. Content and fulfilled by something as simple as a boat on the lake’s water. A simple man, with simple pleasures in life. And yet there was nothing simple about him. His soul was complex. His love, even more so.
I knew it then, as clear as day. I didn’t love Gideon Temple. Not right now. Not in the middle of this nightmare. But I would. Someday, perhaps not long from now. Regardless, the knowing was there, that when the dust settled, if we were both left standing, I would love this man. I would love him for all he had been to me and all that I hopedwewould become together. I wanted that future. I wanted the unknown, uncharted, unfathomable future with the man who sat there, dumbly looking out at the water in the moonlight on a mid-June day.
“I need to ask you something, Gideon,” I spoke clearly. I wanted him to know that my resolve was sure and steady, that my truth was firm.
“Anything,” he responded, turning to look at me with a smile.
“Will you scene with me? Will you take all of this away and let me be free again?” I asked, peaceful assuredness filling my chest as I spoke the words clearly.
I thought he might argue with me. That he might tell me that it was a bad idea after all the trauma that was dredged up today. But he surprised me, yet again, by simply smiling at me and reaching out his hands to me.
“It would be my pleasure,” he spoke softly, kindness ever-present in his tone. He helped me up, guiding me off of the boat and into our home. We trekked up the stairs in companionable silence, both of us ready for the scene ahead. When we were both standing there in our bedroom, facing one another, he spoke again.
“Naomi, I want you to tell me what you hope to get out of our scene,” he began, giving me room to speak my mind.
“I will never be able to forget the things that have happened here. I know that. But while there are many things that I cannot control right now, I know that I can give over what control I do have to you. For a little while, you can take the reins and give me peace. I want to clear my mind and just exist for a little while, under your control,” I explained softly.
“I think we can manage that,” he agreed with a smile, squeezing my hands in his. “I want you to go into the bathroom. Remove all your clothing and re-braid your hair. We don’t want it getting caught in the rope, now do we?” he teased with a smirk.
“No, we don’t want that,” I agreed with him with a small laugh.
“Go on. I will let you know when to reenter the room,” he instructed quietly. I nodded my head before making my way down the hall to the bathroom. Once the door was firmly shut, I took a moment to look into the mirror.
“You are enough,” I stated into the mirror’s reflection. The mantra I had said to myself time and time again had faded into a memory, replaced by the words that Gideon had given me.
Iwas enough.Without measure, without end, I was enough. Just me. Just Naomi.
Quietly, I disrobed, my eyes trained on my reflection. My body wasn’t perfect. I was too tall, too skinny. I didn’t have curves like most of the other girls. My hips were a little too thin, my breasts far too small. And yet, I was enough.
I stood a little taller, removing my bra and my underwear. My long red hair hung in loose waves around my shoulders. I had plaited it prettily for church this morning, but with everything that had happened, and then sailing around the lake, the tresses had come loose and made a mess everywhere. I removed the elastic tie, letting it fall around my shoulders. It was thick and oddly shaped, in my opinion. Not quite curly, but definitely not straight either.
I ran my fingers through the long strands, combing out any tangles before quickly braiding it down my back again. It would have been easy to pick at every minor flaw I saw. Instead, I repeated Gideon’s words. I was enough. I was more than enough.
I focused on keeping my breathing even and slow as the words played over and over in a loop in my mind. Before long, I felt relaxed. Moments later, there was a knock on the door.
I opened the door to see Gideon standing there, a serious look on his face. His chest was bare, showing off his lean muscles. A trail of hair ran down his flat abdomen, down into his unbuttoned pair of jeans. My gaze continued down his legs to where he stood barefooted before me. He looked like pure sex, and I was ravenous for him and whatever he had planned for us.
