Page 44 of Gideon
“You remember this?” he asked tersely.
“I do. Vividly,” I admitted, nodding my head.
“Tell me,” he snapped.
“Are you angry?” I asked timidly. My legs tensed, ready to bolt from the couch and out of the door if need be.
“Angry is not even close to the word,” he bit out. I pressed my palms into the couch, feeling that flight response rise within me. “Angry doesn’t even touch how livid I am, Naomi.”
“Please,” I nearly whimpered.
“Please what?” he asked, his eyes lifting to mine for the first time since this conversation began.
“Please don’t hurt me?” I said, more of a question than a statement.
“Hurt you?” That did it. That changed his reaction in an instant. His anger shifted to concern in a flash.
“Yes. You’re angry with me,” I barely whispered.
“No! Fuck!” he cursed, bolting up from the chair. I cowered against the couch, my hands out in front of me protectively. I could feel myself trembling. This was a mistake. A massive fucking mistake. I eyed the door only for a split second, afraid to take my eyes off of him for long. His hands fisted in his hair as he looked at me. The sadness that etched his features confused me. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes.
“I would never hurt you,couldnever hurt you!THEYhurt you.THEYtook you, took children, from their homes and their lives and fucking kidnapped them — YOU!” He shouted every word, tears spilling over onto his cheeks.
“Them? As in more than me?” I asked with wary trepidation. Did he know?
“Yes, them. There was more than just you, right?” he asked, but somehow I knew it wasn’t a real question. Instead, it felt as if it were more a way of asking me to confirm what he already knew. Did he know?
“Did you know?” I asked, my own jaw clenched tightly as I felt rage roll through me like a tidal wave. What did it mean if he did? Was he in on it? Was he mad I remembered?
“What?” he questioned, turning to look at me once more.
“Did you know?!” I shouted, standing from my seat as I let the rage I felt take over. “Did you know? Were you in on it!? Were you one of them who helped them at the house? Helped them hurt us? To beat us into submission? Is that where you got your fucking kink?” I demanded answers, my conscience telling me to shut the hell up and keep safe, but I could not listen.
“Wait. Stop. What? The house? What house?” he asked rapidly, rushing to stand in front of me, his hands holding on to the outside of my arms as he all but shook me, demanding answers.
“Please don’t hurt me,” I begged pitifully, wincing and turning my face away from him, prepared for him to physically lash out in violence.
His hands immediately released me.
“I swear on my life, on everything, that I will never hurt you, Naomi. I want to hurt peopleforyou!” He backed away, pacing in the small space the living room offered as he spoke. “You asked me if I knew the Elders kidnapped children, and the answer is yes, I did. I knew, but only recently.”
His admission was a bombshell that I somehow knew was coming and yet shocked me still.
“I only know because one of my brother’s wives recently remembered her own experience,” he admitted with so much remorse and pain, I could feel it echoed in my own soul. One of the wives?
I racked my brain, remembering who each of my sisters-in-law were. Ruth, Delilah, and Talia. It only took a moment before I remembered. Talia. She had also been adopted. It was something I hadn’t thought about in so very, very long.
Talia. My heart sank as I thought about the poor girl. She was a sweet thing; tender-hearted and quiet with a calm presence about her that was the polar opposite of my own sharp mannerisms.
I wanted to speak with her immediately. I wanted to have another person in this place to talk about all the hellish things we had been through. But then Gideon’s words struck me. She had only just remembered. She had forgotten? Perhaps she had been too young when it had all happened.
When I had been taken to that place, there were young girls there. Some were young enough to still need bottles and diapers. I had been the oldest, at least during my time there. Perhaps she was one of the tiny ones. The thought of being taken at such a young age and not even knowing broke my heart. Then again, she had remembered, so perhaps she wasn’t an infant. Perhaps she —
“Naomi?” Gideon’s voice broke through the swirling thoughts assaulting my brain, bringing me back to the present. “Are you okay?”
“Ha,” I laughed humorlessly. “Gideon, nothing about any of this is okay.” I sat back down on the couch, the need to flee finally receding. He wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t a part of it that I could tell. If the anger I saw flashing in his eyes was anything to go off of, he was just as furious as I was. Suddenly, the reason they all wanted to leave started to make sense.
“Truer words have never been said,” he muttered, sitting back in the chair, his head hung in his hands, looking every bit as exhausted as I felt.
