Page 51 of Hat Trick
There’s a checkered, oversized blanket laid out on the ground, the perimeter of it is covered in delicatefairy lights, and there’s a pile of blankets and pillows sitting on top of it. Not only did he cook dinner for me, he also took the time to think about what to do after dinner. A place to sit under the stars together. To be in one another’s arms.
“Emerson… this is…beautiful.” I look at him, and the joy lining his features is enough to bring so many emotions to the surface. My eyes immediately start to sting. No one has ever put this much thought into a date for me. Well, Dominic did a couple of days ago. And now having two of these experiences back to back almost feels entirely overwhelming. I’ve tried so hard for so long to keep my heart locked up tight. To keep it safe from anyone wanting to break through its hard exterior. Desperate to find someone worthy enough to drop my defenses. But with them… with Dominic and Emerson, I’m realizing I don’t need defenses because I already feel it.
Protected.
They’ve made me feel that way for a while now, and I don’t even think any of us have realized it. I wasn’t supposed to be falling for them—none of us were—but when I think about life without either of them, it makes me sick to my stomach. It’s apparent that there’s no life I want to be in without both of them at my side.
Well, shit.
There’s not one moment that I can think back on and know for certain that’s when I really fell for the both of them, but I can say the falling is done. I’m at the bottom. I’ve hit the ground from falling, and looking back it’s been the slowest descent. They’ve grown onme, broken down the views and expectations I had on love.
I’ve slowly fallen for the two men in my life that were never supposed to be more than just a fun fuck.
But they’re so much more than that.
IloveEmerson Baker and Dominic Foster.
TheL wordis bouncing around in my head, and I’m not freaking out. That’s progress, right?!
“Sit. I’ll be right back.” He has no clue about the mental gymnastics I’ve been performing in the two minutes we’ve been out here, so I mindlessly do as he says and drop to the blanket in the grass. Allowing myself to get lost in the night sky while he rushes inside the house.
Before I know it, he’s dropping onto the blanket next to me with his hands full. “Momma’s famous crème brûlée and the wine you brought over.”
The man can bake too… I’m fucking cooked.
Emerson pours us more wine in each of our glasses that were waiting out here for us and hands me one of the spoons. I scoop up a bite, and the moment it hits my tongue, my eyes roll into the back of my head.
Yeah, I’m going to need this recipe.
Scratch that. This man is making this for me all the time.
Emerson’s eyes darken before shaking his head and taking my spoon from me. Biting his lip, he uses his to scoop up another bite and feeds me another spoonful of creamy goodness, and I groan. “Send my thanks over to your mom. This is so fucking good.”
“She’ll be asking. I had to call her earlier and get therecipe from her.” He huffs a soft laugh. “I ended up having to call Jax because my mom never has her phone on her, and they were curious about whether this was being made for my boyfriend or girlfriend…”
He trails off nervously but I just smile at him. I’m sure he is thinking I will flip a lid at the mention of him officially being mine and Dominic’sboyfriend. But the more I’ve been thinking about it, I don’t know if I want to call this anything but that. I mean, what else would all of this be? It doesn’t feel just for fun anymore. And if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think it’s been “just for fun” since the moment we sat down in that cafe. Even when we made up those bullshit rules. Not for me at least. But how do I tell them that? What if I’m the only one? I don’t want to risk all of this falling apart.
I have no fucking clue about any of it.
So, I ask, “And what did you tell her?”
“That we were just having fun…” He says it, but it sounds bitter on his tongue. Like even saying the words pained him. “Is that still what you want? To have fun?”
I don’t want to ruin what we have. The bliss. The ease. Is this what it’ll be like—always wanting more but unsure whether we should reach out and grab it? Always desperate for the next step we’resupposedto take? I don’t want that either. But Emerson and Dominic feel like they’re mine. They feel like more than “fun.” They feel like so,somuch more.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I answer playfully, “I never thought I would say it, but you two are growing on me.”
“You’ve grown on me like a fungus in the rainforest, Lil.”
We’re both chuckling when I joke, “Why is that gross but equally as cute?”
As we sit in a comfortable silence under the stars for I don’t even know how long, I find myself wondering what I’ve done to deserve not just one gentle and kind-hearted man, but two. It’s enough to bring tears to my eyes anytime my mind goes to the thought, and I try to think back to when these emotions started, but it’s just been a gradual and steady freefall from the moment I met them. I like to think that Turks and Caicos was always meant to happen.
The three of us were meant to be in one another’s arms. We were meant to share looks of lust and longing. I was meant to see the way the two of them love one another, and they were meant to see the way I lo?—
Shit.
No. Nope. Can’t do that now. I can’t come to that conclusion now. Not when there’s so many uncertainties. So many unsaid words.
