Chapter One
Everyone expected Warriors to be strong and courageous. They protected the royal family and the castle. To keep everyone safe, they staffed the watch stations around the country and fought demons with the Mage Warriors whenever necessary. It was their sworn duty to protect. And people just assumed that a certain demeanor went with that: Warriors were either gruff and stoic or bluff and genial.
They weren’t painfully shy, and they didn’t wish they could do their job without actually having to deal with people.
That was just Chamis, apparently.
He very much wanted to keep people safe. He certainly had the size, muscles, and training to do so. But why did there have to be so manypeople?
He swallowed thickly as he watched Bennan watch Perian across the training yard.Therewas someone who had never been shy a day in hislife—neither of them had, actually, and so of course, Perian had caught Bennan’s attention.
He was nothing like Chamis. Where Chamis was huge and solid, Perian was slender and graceful. While Chamis had shockingly red hair and far too many freckles to count, Perian had attractive dark hair and bright hazel eyes. Where Chamis dressed in the Warrior’s uniform (white shirt, dark trousers, padded tunic, and leather vest), Perian wore smart vests and coats, and the round beads in his hair that marked him as male almost always complemented his outfit. (Chamis had three wooden beads braided into his hair, and he rarely changed them out.) And when Perian smiled… well, he was beautiful when he smiled. He looked like he was probably a couple years younger than Chamis, probably in his early twenties, but it was obvious he was way more self-possessed and confident than Chamis would ever be.
So it made sense he’d caught Bennan’s attention. Bennan was the most wonderful, most beautiful man Chamis had ever seen. He was bright and outgoing, so of course, he was attracted to someone bright and outgoing like him.
Not someone like Chamis, who was more likely to flush—which clashed horribly with his hair—and not be able to find his words at all. It was just… all that focus on him was a lot to take, especially because he knew it didn’t mean what he wanted it to mean. Bennan flirted with everyone, and Chamis wound up paralyzed as he wanted it to mean something but knew it didn’t.
If only he could respond like a normal person. Only he never had, and gradually, Bennan’s flirtatious attention had dropped off—as Chamis had known it would, but it still stung. Worse, it was still almost impossible totear his eyes away from the handsome man. Chamis’s heart still beat faster every time he saw Bennan. It was proving impossible to stop wanting him, even when he knew it was hopeless.
Even watching Perian and Bennan flirt couldn’t quite quash the thread of want that stubbornly persisted in Chamis. He could only stand there, big and awkward, and watch with envy as they were so very unselfconscious. Bennan didn’t mind being scolded by the Captain, and Perian was remarkably cheerful given that one of their own Warriors had attacked him during training. He was still here, admittedly sitting at the sidelines, but he hadn’t let it stop him.
He might not be as physically strong as most of the Warriors, but it was eminently clear that he had so much internal strength—where Chamis quaked at the very idea of having an actual conversation with a man he’d admired ever since he’d met him.
Chamis sighed and tried to put it all out of his mind. The fact that Perian was here didn’t really alter anything, after all. Chamis hadn’t had a chance with Bennan before now, and he didn’t have a chance now.
He just had to learn how to avert his eyes when Bennan stripped off his tunic. It was hard to eventhinkwhen the gorgeous man did that. Only then he saw Bennan wink at Perian, and he was reminded anew just how hopeless it all was.
“Three laps around the quadrangle, everyone!” the Captain called out.
Obediently, Chamis fell into line with the others. And if he happened to be positioned right behind Bennan, well… someone had to run there, right?
Chamis had done a pretty good job of convincing himself that nothing had really changed with Perian’s arrival, so much so that it was deeply shocking to turn the corner on his way to the dining hall for breakfast and find Perian standing there.
For a moment, Chamis actually considered turning around and fleeing. It was one thing to know the man was here and had captured Bennan’s attention. He couldn’t begin to imagine actually interacting with him.
But his feet continued to carry him forward, because there wasn’t really a good alternative.
“Good morning,” Perian said cheerfully. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a couple of minutes.”
Oh. This was worse than he’d feared. This wasn’t a chance encounter. Perian had sought him out and no doubt had something to say to him about his too-obvious staring or embarrassing pining.
Reluctantly, Chamis gave in to the inevitable. “Of course.”
Since the only thing that would make this worse was an audience, Chamis led them to a small room that was used for meetings. It was sparsely furnished with a table and a half dozen chairs.
“What did you want to talk about?” Chamis made himself ask. It would be better to get this over with.
“Bennan and I have gotten to know one another over the last few days,” Perian started. “He’s been really nice to me, and I appreciate it.”
Not quite able to meet Perian’s eyes, he said, “I heard what happened with Fomadin. He shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
Chamis might selfishly wish Perian hadn’t come or hadn’t caught Bennan’s eyes, but he’d never wishharmon the man.
“Thank you,” Perian said. “It definitely wasn’t great. But it gave me the chance to actually talk with Bennan. We’re kind of similar in some ways. I mean, not in others, since he’s obviously made of muscles and could probably lift me with one arm.”
Chamis huffed a breath. Bennan was very strong and fit, and clearly, they both knew it.
“What I was trying to say,” Perian added hurriedly, “is that our behavior in certain ways is similar. If we see something we like, we probably say so, and it’s kind of obvious to everyone.”
