Page 70 of Nodus Tollens
Speechless.
My girl sucked in a breath before her eyes turned misty. Though I hated to see her cry, these were happy tears. At least, I hoped they were.
“Hayes… Don’t you think we’re moving a little too fast here? How… How can I already be your everything?” She whimpered, clearly torn about her emotions.
Yeah, what was happening was fast. I don’t think either of us could have imagined something so intense to strike us straight in the gut. From the very moment my eyes connected with hers, I knew she was going to be something special to me. Like a tumbling rockslide, there was no interfering. No stopping it. My heart and soul knew they had found its person.
Its home.
“I didn’t run into you simply by accident, Blue. These feelings that I have were already lingering inside me… They were waiting for you to come along and bring me back to life.” I rubbed my fingers gently across her belly, easing her into my confessions because I knew just how much they would affect her. “So no, I don’t think we’re moving too fast because my soul already belonged to you.” I laid a soft kiss onto the side of her head.
“I just needed to find you.”
I didn’t spark a reaction out of her immediately. Instead, I sat there waiting. Waiting for her to admit I was right or that she felt the same, but she surprised me when she pulled away from me.
Shit.
I panicked. With words on the tip of my tongue, I reached for her with the intent of pulling her back in. My hands fell onto her waist, but instead of climbing off me, all she did was spin herself around, so she was now straddling my legs. At first, I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or not. Everything went numb from head to toe. I couldn’t feel or move anything. I was too focused on the warm, beautiful body that was currently making itself comfortable on my lap. Wiggling and scooting herself closer to me, my mouth went completely dry, and my spine stiffened at the feel of legs circling my waist. Then when she encased her arms around my neck, I watched with laser focus as her body lifted, pushing off her hips until our mouths were lined up with one another. My curiosity demanded answers. She wasn’t speaking, nor was she acting on the hunger that was clearly present in her stare. Instead, she watched my eyes, my lips. She was taking me in like she never wanted to stop.
Kiss me, Blue.
Fucking take my mouth like I know you want to.
Was she hesitant? Nervous?
I went through various reasons in my head as to why she wasn’t doing anything until she finally took what she wanted. Her mouth crashed against mine as if she wanted to bruise me from the impact. As if she was telling me that I was her everything, too.
And Goddammit, if that didn’t send my heart soaring.
Arms moving quickly, I wrapped them around her middle, yanking her to me. My hand wanted to be tangled in her hair. I wanted to knead and angle her around, but I was rendered under her spell as her palms cupped my cheeks.
Softly.
So fucking gentle that even our mouths slowed at the tenderness of her gesture.
“Sticky notes, pens, my book, that’s what makes me happy.” She spoke over my lips. “Injured animals.” Kiss. “Witnessing injustice makes me sad.” She fell back onto my mouth, where I continued to lose myself in her kiss. “I’m from a small town in Kansas.” She shifted her lips to my chin, then my forehead, where she began peppering my face with kisses. “And my favorite food is chocolate.”
I needed her closer. I needed to breathe her in entirely until we became one.
One heart.
One soul.
I’ve never been kissed like this before. Other than when I was a child, my face would be covered in soft kisses from my mother, but this was entirely different. I was a full-grown man now. I played one of the roughest sports out there, and right now, I was basking in every single one of her kisses that she plastered over my nose, cheeks, and eyelids. I let her drown me in her affection. I embraced it as I closed my eyes and groaned in contentment.
“Tell me more, Blue.” I begged. “Don’t stop.”
I didn’t want her words to come to an end. I needed more. More kisses, more spoken words, more of her.
“I can only fall asleep watching ASMR videos.” She dropped a kiss on my right eyebrow. “The dog I had growing up was named Zoey.” She dragged her mouth downward, skimming her lips against my skin until they stopped at the corner of my mouth. “I’ve never been with a man before.”
Instantly, my whole body went rigid. How was that possible? How could this beautiful, amazing girl go this long without being with someone? Not that it didn’t make my chest surge in elation because it fucking did, but I was struck with disbelief. Then, as if what she said was a drunken confession, she pulled her face away from mine as a look of pure horror spread across her features.
“Blue…” I whispered, hating the way she was looking away from me with red cheeks. If anything, I should be the one embarrassed for throwing away my virginity years ago and not saving it for her. Meaningless sex, one-night stands. I felt my stomach sink at all the senseless interactions I’d had with the others that came before her.
“I can’t believe I just admitted that to you…” She muttered under her breath. I could sense her need to flee, so before she had the chance to, I locked my arms around her waist.
“Baby, you don’t need to be embarrassed.” I shook my head while searching intensely for her eyes that were avoiding me entirely. She couldn’t avoid me forever, but I needed to shake her from this unease, and quickly, before I lost her. So, shifting both my arms, I slid one to her waistline, where I took a handful of her hip, and the other took in her face and brought her attention back onto me. “Do you know what you did to me by telling me that?”
