Page 1 of Defy
Chapter One
LOGAN
"Motherfucker," I throw the socket wrench in my hand across the shop. It ends up hitting a shelf full of miscellaneous used motorcycle parts. For the life of me, I can't concentrate on a damn thing. This rebuild shouldn't be taking me as long as it has. Usually, I would have been done with something like this more than a week ago. No, these days my mind is elsewhere. It's on my woman.
Life with Bella has been more than I could have ever imagined it being. I've walked through hell and back for her. Overcome incredible odds in order to hold her every single night. I'm prepared to dance with the devil himself if that’s what it takes to give her everything.
Are there days her sassy mouth overloads her little ass? Yes.
Does she want to defy me on everything? Every. Fuckin'. Day.
But I wouldn't have her any other way. Bella makes me feel more alive than I've ever felt in my life, but this past year hasn't been easy for her- for either of us.
More than anything I want to have a family and grow old with her. Unfortunately, life seems to think otherwise. For months we've been trying to start a family of our own. So far… nothing. I'm all in. I want it as much as she does, but the stress of it all is starting to take its toll.
"What's crawled up your ass this morning, brother?" Quinn quips from the other side of the shop while under the hood of a pickup truck.
Still irritated I fire back at him, "Fuck off, Quinn."
"What the hell is going on out here?" Jake's voice echoes off the shop walls.
Undeterred, I start to walk over to find the socket wrench I threw so I can get back to work.
"Sunshine here is having another bad day, Prez," Quinn remarks as he wipes the grease from his hands.
"Logan. Office. Now," Jake barks.
Turning on my heels, I follow Prez through the shop and into his office.
"Close the fuckin' door," he orders.
I know by the tone of his voice. He is fed up with my attitude. I've been lashing out for a while now. I'm aware of it, and so is everyone else. I think I'm about to get a verbal beatdown. I don't want to hear it, but I've had it comin'. Tense as fuck, I continue to stand with my arms crossed over my chest.
"Sit the fuck down. I ain't lookin' up at you while we have a chat," he gruffs.
Reaching down, I grab the back of the chair and drag the legs across the linoleum floor and plant my ass in the seat.
"I've been overlooking this shit attitude of yours for several weeks now. Always coming in ass draggin' on the floor and snappin' at everyone. Plus you're behind on work," Jake pauses giving me time to answer him.
Letting my head fall back I stare up at the ceiling. "You're right I've been a big dick lately."
"Talk to me, son."
Leveling my head, I scrub my hand down my unshaven face. "Bella and I are having a rough time trying to start a family. Doctors can't find a reason why she can't get pregnant. It's taking its toll." I tell him the short version.
He leans back in his chair. He looks tired. I'm not the only one going through something. I can't put my finger on it because Jake is so tight-lipped about his personal life, but something has had him stressed these days as well.
"It will happen when the time is right, Logan. You're both young."
It's nagging at me. I haven't shared the piece of information I'm about to reveal to anyone. Mostly because the timing hasn't been right. I wasn't about to overshadow all the positive things happening around us. But I need someone to talk to about it. I swallow past the lump in my throat. "Several months ago, Bella suffered a miscarriage." I hang my head in sadness. It feels good to talk to someone and to finally acknowledge our loss. I look back up at him. Sadness mares his face. "She had found out she was pregnant by taking one of those home tests, but before she could go to the doctor to confirm it we lost the baby," I tell him.
I remember both days like it happened yesterday. Bella and I find time every weekend to take a ride on my bike; always ending up at the lake. Bella wore a smile that outshined the sun all day, which in turn made my day even better. While sitting on the ground with her between my legs, we sat in silence. As the hues of golds and reds danced across the surface of the water, Bella spun around, wrapped her legs around my hips and reached into her back pocket.
"Close your eyes," she said as she leaned forward and whispered in my ear.
A smile tugged at my lips, and I played along. Lifting my hand, Bella slipped what she had been holding onto my palm, and I wrapped my fingers around the object.
"Open your eyes," she said softly.
