Page 104 of The Hunger
Then I remembered that moment when mom had walked in on Fenris and me at her house. I turned off the water in a supreme state of shock. She’d said nothing. No, she’d apologized for interrupting me. How messed up was that? Guilt ate at me. I needed to call her.
As soon as I was done using Oanen’s room to shower and dress, I returned to my own and checked in on the brownies. Merri had dressed and was sitting beside Piepen, who was now resting and enjoying being fed a grape almost the size of his head. He still wasn’t dressed, but at least there was a tissue covering his hips.
“Good morning, princess,” he said when Merri turned to look at me.
“Morning. I’m really sorry about what I did to you with the order to clean. I didn’t know I could do that. Had I known, I would have never said what I did.”
“Goddesses give commands. I only wish I would have been well enough to carry them out for you. Thank you for saving my life so many times, Eliana. The pain in my acorns was nothing compared to the ache in my arm when I tried to clean the mirror. I’ll never forget how you helped Merri take care of me.”
His hips bucked under the tissue. Merri reached out and set a hand on his leg. He immediately stilled as she looked at me.
“Piepen’s acorns need to be milked again. I think he should be able to fly in another few hours.”
“Okay. The window’s open, so you can leave whenever you’re ready. Please just clean up when you’re done.”
“I won’t let any escape this time.”
I almost made a face. “I think Piepen’s well enough to take care of himself.”
Merri firmly shook her head. “This is the least I can do to show how much I appreciate the way he’s supported my choice.”
They shared a loving look that had me backing out of the room.
“Thank you again for all your help,” Merri called before I closed the door.
A moment later, I heard Piepen howling Merri’s name and ran from my room.
Mrs. Quill was in the kitchen when I went to pass through it on my way to the car. My steps slowed, and she looked up from her coffee. Her wariness didn’t outweigh her worry for me.
“I’m truly sorry,” I said. “I had no idea what I was doing. Both times, I think I was so hungry that I just…lost control.” And in that moment, I realized that had been what Adira feared all along. “I should have asked you for help before I got that bad.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I don’t want to feed from you. I want Fenris. I’ve been wanting him for weeks now, not understanding that I was already feeding from him. Now that I’ve tasted him?” I shook my head. “Imagine tasting your absolutely favorite food ever and then being given a vitamin water to sustain you for the rest of your life. It isn’t bad. It’s nutrient-rich and will keep you alive. It just will never ever taste like your favorite food.”
“I’m water?” she asked with a slight smile.
“Water with a hint of blueberry.”
A full smile emerged on her lips.
“You’re sweet even in your refusal, Eliana. But I understand what you’re saying. Nothing could replace Lander in my life. I wouldn’t even want to try.” She stood and hugged me. “Ignore Raiden. If Fenris is the one who calls to you, then be with Fenris.”
I hugged her in return, glad she said to be with him not only to feed from him.
“Thank you for understanding. Now that I know what happens, I’ll be more careful and will try not to let myself get so hungry.”
“I’m here if you ever need a drink of water to hold you over.”
I could feel her humor as she released me.
“Have a good day at school.”
In the car, while I let the engine warm, I dialed Mom and put it on speaker.
“Good morning, baby,” she answered. “How is the brownie?”
“The brownie’s fine. But I’m not sure I am. I know what I tried to do to you, Mom. Why didn’t you tell me?”
