Page 90 of Apple of My Eye
There’s just one problem—I can’t quite stop thinking about Nick. During my first date in San Francisco all I can think about is how much more handsome Nick is. How I love the way his haircut brings out his cheekbones. How I love the way the sunlight sparkles in his eyes. How I yearn for his touch again, for our chemistry.
I’m on another date tonight, with someone who looks vaguely like Nick, and all I can think about is how much I miss Nick’s brain. I miss the way he approaches problems; I miss the way he asks me questions. I miss how interested he is in everyone around him, how he is always thinking, calculating, wanting to know more, to do better. I miss his ambition, even when it aggravates me. I miss how well he knew me after such a short time, how he makes me feel like I’m worth knowing.
I get home, missing him so badly that I look him up, the first time I’d let myself do it in ages.
I’m expecting to find a grid filled with pictures of him with his friends, of restaurants, of hikes. Instead, I find nothing. Not a single new post since he stopped posting about the Parkers. I hover outside of Linden’s room, wondering if I should confide in him, tell him what’s on my mind. It would be nice to have a fresh perspective on the situation. Maybe I should call Nick, maybe I should be the one apologizing. But Nick was the one that lied. I don’t need Linden to tell me that makes him bad news.
Just as I’m turning to go to bed, his door opens.
‘Lou!’ he says, surprised. ‘I was just going to find you. Hey—’ he stops short ‘—how was your date?’
‘Ugh,’ I say. ‘A colossal waste of time.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, looking genuinely disappointed. ‘I was wondering, do you want to come with me to the Sausalito Farming Convention tomorrow?’
Linden’s been trying to get me to go with him for ages. But something about farming, about Linden farming .?.?. I just haven’t wanted to go. It’s been easier to separate things fully for me, to not straddle the line between two worlds. But his expression is so hopeful .?.?. ‘I guess I could make that work.’
‘Great.’ He beams. ‘It’s at seven. Don’t be late.’
Me: Is it crazy that I think Linden and I are like .?.?. getting along?
Evan: Crazy? We’ve been telling you since we met you that Linden was cool.
Shari: Preach. I’ve been telling you I wanted to date him which is the highest compliment.
Me: I was going to say I can’t wait until you guys come and visit .?.?.
Shari: Relax. He’s taken! And I want to come visit. As soon as my berry babies are settled in.
Evan: So I take it your heart to heart with Linden went fine.
Me: He was like .?.?. so cool about it that it made me feel bad yk?
Shari: Ah, an emotionally adjusted man. The rarest of them all.
Evan: Hey, proud of you for admitting you were wrong.
Me: Not wrong, just changed my mind.
Me: Kidding, was a little bit wrong. And harsh. And mean.
Shari: Women bear an extra burden. Glad Linden didn’t make yours heavier by adding guilt.
Evan: ^^^.
Chapter Forty
Nick
She’s here. I know it before I see her. I can feel the energy in the room like an electric current. Pulsing, waiting, wanting. Eloise ishere. I turn quickly, pivoting towards the double doors that mark the entrance to the dusty schoolroom we use to meet. Sure enough, tucked into a crowd of people, right next to Linden, is Eloise.
Just like the first time we met, her beauty takes my breath away. She looks so .?.?. at home .?.?. like she’s met these people before, or she’s been here. But that’s impossible. I’m here every week. She hasn’t been. But .?.?. I scan her body—her jeans are different and she’s wearing a shirt I’ve never seen. She’s dressed like everyone else. Not like a farmer. Questions are buzzing through my mind. Why is she here? What is she doing with Linden? Did they resolve their issues? Does she know I’ll be here? Will she talk to me? Does she hate me still?
Just then Eloise looks up, straight at me, her eyes tunneling all the way into my soul. She smiles softly, one corner of her lips tugging upward. Just like that, my last question, the most important one, is answered. By some miracle, Eloise doesn’t hate me. I may still have a chance.
I give her a small wave, trying to ignore that I see her frantically tug on Linden’s sleeve. So, she didn’t know I would be here. Oh well. I can’t worry about that right now. I have a presentation to make.
I finish my speech to a smattering of applause. Quickly, folks get up to mingle and the room is filled with a low hum of conversation.
