Page 114 of Rocky Mountain Devil
“Rafe.” She dragged her nails down his back hard enough to leave stinging trails, hips pulsing wildly as she came. He buried his face against her neck and let himself fly apart.
The floor was unsteady under his feet. Hell, the entire house could have been shaking for all he knew as he clung to her, trying to hold on to every good and pure thing she’d given him for one final moment.
Their desperate fuck had been perfect.Shewas perfect, and he was about to get kicked out of paradise because there was no way he belonged anywhere near her.
Never going to give her up? What an idiot he was. Being with her forever was what he wanted, and exactly what he couldn’t have.
Rafe released her leg and gently lowered it to the table. Then he pressed his fists to the hard wooden surface, because if he kept them there, he wouldn’t catch her in his grasp and hold on. Wouldn’t cling to her and never let go.
Because he had to let her go. After what he’d done? He couldn’t trust himself ever again.
Laurel was kissing him, her lips brushing his face. His eyes. Butterfly-slow blessings dusting his heated skin. Her hands danced over his shoulders, his cock still buried inside her warmth.
He didn’t want to move, because the next step was away from her.
Saying goodbye was going to kill him, but hell, better him now than her someday in the future. Better to never spend another hour with her than to someday become like his father, and have a family who were better off with him dead.
He pulled back. Stole one final touch as he scooped her pants off the floor and held them for her. Laurel rested a hand on his shoulder as she lifted one leg, then the other before standing motionless as he pulled the waistband over her hips.
That was all he could bear. Rafe stepped away and did the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. “Go home.”
He turned his back on her.
She curled herself around him. “I’m here for you,” she insisted. “Let me in, Rafe. Let me help you.”
He laughed, the sound escaping hard and brittle as he carefully wrapped his fingers around her wrists and removed her arms. “After what I did?”
She didn’t move, or at least the old wooden floorboards didn’t squeak, which meant she wasn’t going to make this simple and walk away because he asked.
“I’m not mad at you,” she whispered, stroking a hand down his back. Touching the places she’d left her mark on his body. “The sex was—real. That was being alive, and being real. Shutting me out and not talking to me isn’t being alive, baby. Ben died, not you. Don’t punish yourself.”
Her fingers traced the marks on his body, but her voice—her words—they tore at the places inside where she’d left her mark even deeper.
“I need you to go away.” He faced her and hardening his resolve. Tightening his voice so he didn’t simply break down and beg. “I need time away from you.”
Her sudden intake of air struck him razor-sharp. He met her pain-filled eyes, and that’s when he remembered—Jeff had said the same thing to her.
He wanted to take it back. Wanted to ease the hurt he’d caused, but there was no turning back. “Just go.”
Laurel searched his face, concern deepening as she reached out a hand then jerked it back before they touched. She took a deep breath, then without a word rushed to the front door to pull on her coat and boots.
He waited silently for his heart to walk out of his life.
Only she stopped with her hand on the doorknob, glancing up so the fire in her eyes was clear. The hopelessness was gone and what remained was one-hundred-percent stubborn-ass Sitko, the girl who’d leapt fearlessly on the class bully in spite of being out-gunned.
Laurel lifted her chin and spoke like she was the one in charge. “You need some time? You’ve got it, but don’t think you can run from me forever, Coleman. Running doesn’t change things.”
She checked him over from top to bottom before meeting his gaze, so direct and powerful it took everything in him to keep from looking away.
“When I do come back? We’re going to talk about a whole lot of things, and once we’re done, we’re going to bed for a solid week, so save up your strength and get whatever it is out of your system, because even best friends only put up with bullshit for a short time.”
Laurel reached above her to snatch his favourite cowboy hat off the hook on the wall. She jammed it on her head, then marched out the door, slamming it after her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The funeral was set for Saturday. Even with the things they had to deal with because of Ben’s passing, Rafe had had a lot of time on his hands, especially since he was actively avoiding Laurel.
Her words rattled in Rafe’s brain for the next couple days. It was in the empty moments he especially felt her absence. The times when he would have reached to text her, or talk to her. Hell, every time he reached for his damnhathe thought about the flash of passion in her eyes.
