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Rafe:you okay?

Laurel thought about the different answers she could give him. She could share how broken she was seeing Gabe with his heart on his sleeve. She could say how much guilt rolled through her at the choices she’d faced before they’d been torn away from her.

How did you text a million doubts? How did you put into a few words and an emoticon that the world sucked, and yet…

Gabe had wrapped Allison in his arms. That was love. Allison trusted her with baby Micah—that was love as well. For all the hurts they faced in life, when there was love, it made a difference.

But there was no way to express that to Rafe without telling him things that weren’t his burden to bear. So she wrapped the dark, painful emotions up like she’d done so many times before and pushed them into as small of a bundle as she could.

Laurel:I’ll be okay.

It wasn’t completely a lie, but it sure wasn’t the entire truth. Not yet.

Chapter Twenty-One

It took a while for things to turn around. Winter days might move at a slower pace at the ranch, but Rafe worked his ass off to give Gabe as much time as possible to spend with Allison and Micah.

The secretive family meetings seemed to be put on hold, and there wasn’t as much laughter in the Angel Coleman household when he stopped in, not until later in December when Allison insisted on having him and Laurel over to go cut down a tree.

Gabe fussed over Allison until she gave him hell.

“I’m bundled up more than Micah is. I’m not an invalid,” she snapped before offering an apology. “If you want to make my day, how about you hook up the sleigh? We can ride out to get the tree.”

So they hitched up a pair of horses, festive bells on their reins. Micah’s eyes widening as Gabe lifted him up to show him the horses’ holiday trim.

Rafe and Laurel sat in the front to drive, Gabe in the back holding Allison and Micah in his arms as they took the sleigh over the hills to the east of the cozy log home in the trees.

“Where are we going?” Laurel asked.

“We tagged some trees in Gabe’s Folly last summer,” Allison said. “They should be the right size to pick from.”

“Gabe’s Folly?” Laurel questioned Rafe.

Rafe held the reins in one hand so he could loop the other around her. “The chunk of land we traded with Uncle George a few years back, while you were gone. Everybody thought it was as bad an exchange as buying Alaska, but it turned out pretty good. We got to go organic there the following spring instead of having to wait like on the rest of our land.”

Little bits of history shared. Little memories built. They loaded up a couple of Christmas trees and brought them back to decorate, sharing time together as the season turned.

For once Gabe put down his foot and announced there would be no Angel Coleman gathering on Christmas Day. “Not this year. We’ll do something simple with Ma, and we’re going to get together with Allison’s brother and sister at the restaurant so there’s no cooking or cleaning for any of them.”

Rafe considered doing something more official on Christmas Day to make his mom happy, but when he thought about deliberately spending time with his father, the idea choked him.

Ben rarely showed up to work these days, and never over at Gabe’s anymore. It just meant that Rafe’s workload was heavier, and every time he did run into his father on the ranch he got an earful about how stupid every decision Gabe made was, and how Ben would have done things differently.

Rafe got good at turning around as fast as possible to escape anytime he spotted his father.

He was concerned about Laurel. Her usual cheerfulness seemed dimmer these days, as if the grey days of winter were taking a toll. Then she’d perk up and he’d have his sunshine back—joining him for television in the evenings, or dancing at Traders on Friday nights.

It was Laurel who came up with the idea that saved the holiday. “There’s a Christmas dinner at the church on Christmas eve,” she suggested, holding up a hand before he could protest. “Your mom will feel comfortable there, and if you show up, that can be your Angel Coleman Christmas time with her.”

The church was the one place Ben would never come.

Rafe leaned in and kissed her. “Brilliant woman.”

He wished he’d have thought of it years sooner. The food was delicious and plentiful, and his mom glowed with happiness as people around her offered good wishes and exchanged little presents.

They were done the main meal and heading toward dessert when his mother leaned in close. “Thanks for coming,” she said. “I know this isn’t your thing.”

He kissed her cheek. “I’d do anything for my best girl.”