Page 71 of Rocky Mountain Home
His arm was brushed away by an angry motion on his twin’s part. “Don’t do this.”
Pain struck again. “I apologized for leaving. What more do you want?”
Joel laughed, a bitter sound. “Seriously? You have to ask?”
He caught Jesse by the shirtfront and dragged him close, face only inches away as Joel stared daggers. “You apologized for leaving the family. How about you try apologizing for ripping out my fucking guts? You left, you— You—”
Joel’s expression twisted, and he threw Jesse from him, turning his body to the side and staring over the Coleman land.
It would have been confusing if it weren’t crystal clear to Jesse exactly what his brother was talking about.
He took a deep breath and fought for control. “You’re right. You’re so right. I made a mistake with the family, but I did something worse with you, and I’m so damn sorry, Joel.”
No matter that he’d felt he had to leave, hurting Joel had never been his intention. It didn’t change the issue at the root of the trouble, but this part of it, his sorrow at the consequences, was real.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated again. “For hurting you.”
Joel didn’t move. “Asshole.”
“Jerk,” Jesse responded instinctively, and a hint of smile crossed Joel’s face.
Joel turned and walked back toward the river at a much more reasonable pace. Feet moving as they talked for the first time in ages. “You’ve been lucky. Vicki and I take turns being the reasonable one. When I’m mad enough to spit at the mention of your name, she calms me down and stops me from lighting effigies.”
Inside, Jesse’s guts twisted again. “Vicki stands up for me? What the hell does she say?”
“That someday I’d miss your sorry ass if I track you down to kill you and that she doesn’t want to have to resort to conjugal visits for the next twenty-five years of our lives when I get jailed for knocking your head off your shoulders.”
Jesse snorted.
“Hey, when she gets ranting, it’s all about poisoning you slowly. So you inspire bloodthirsty thoughts in us both.”
“Vicki would get along great with Dare’s sister. She’s keen on poison as well.”
Joel stopped beside a short section of split rail fence, placing a boot on the bottom rung. “Seems weird to think you’ve been gone long enough to have a new crowd of people willing to put you six feet under.”
“We all need a talent,” Jesse attempted to joke, but his brother didn’t crack a smile, so he sighed and went for serious. “She and Dare’s brothers were making the customary welcome to the family death threats.”
Joel’s face twisted for a moment before he brought it under control. “New family, huh?”
God. Jesse’s stomach ached from every bit of sharing he did without telling it all. “I mean, they’re great. They’re hundred percent there for Dare.”
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be between him and Joel. They’d done everything together. Played, and laughed, and learned about life. They’d shared long talks late into the night, and they’d planned their futures, and now when he needed his twin the most, the walls between them seemed insurmountable.
A long, sad sigh escaped Joel. “Enough. I agree with Matt. I’m still mad, but I’m not going to hold this over your head, as long as you don’t ever fucking do it again.”
“Leave without a word? Not likely. Jaxi’s got the bloodhound scent now. I’ll never shake her.”
Joel turned slowly to lean on the fence as he folded his arms and looked Jesse over. “Don’t expect things to go back to the way they were.”
This entire trip was shaping up to be worse than he’d ever imagined. “You hate me that much?”
“I hurt that much,” Joel snapped. “And being mad at you hurts even more because I want to tell you it’s all fine, but it’s fucking not. But I guess we have to try and put it in the past and move on.”
What was Jesse supposed to say? Well, it’s mostly over except for one great big huge thing hanging over my head. The same thing that made me leave in the first place.
Like that would go over well.
“It’s in the past,” Jesse agreed with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
