Page 104 of Shame the Devil
Jennifer spoke up, because Jennifer always would. Jumping in to help him. “If he offered,” she told her grandfather, “I’d say no. We don’t know each other well enough. Besides, I’ve done fine so far as a single mom.”
“Not that fine,” Oscar said. “And you call that security? Living in his garage until he gets tired of having you there? Happy for the crumbs?”
Harlan said, “You want me to propose? Fine. I’ll do that.”
He didn’t lose control. Not ever. He didn’t rage. He didn’t cry sad tears. He didn’t weep with joy, either. But these last few weeks, losing control felt like all he’d done, and it was happening again. A buzzing in his brain, recklessness in his heart, and no control at all over what would come out of his mouth next.
Everybody was sitting frozen. Even Dyma didn’t have anything to say. As for Jennifer, she looked dumbstruck.
He said, “Jennifer. Will you marry me?”
Oh. You were supposed to kneel down. Did people really do that? Well, yeah. He’d seen it on enough athlete social-media statuses to know.
He did it. Got on a knee, took her hand in his, and said, “I want to do the right thing. If this is it, I’m ready to do it. Will you marry me?”
She was crying. Not in the right way, though. These were angry tears. She snatched her hand away and said, “Don’t …mockme. Don’t … just because I told you I was … how I felt about you, that doesn’t mean you can make fun of me! It doesn’t mean you canhurtme.”
“Jennifer. Baby.” He was up, grabbing hold of her. “I’m not.”
She shook her head and kept crying, and Harlan wanted to tell Oscar, “See? See what you did? Asking her to move into my bedroom was wrong, and this is even more wrong. I don’t have a mom to ask. I don’t have a dad to ask. I’m going to do this wrong, and now I’ve hurt her worse.” He didn’t say it, because that wasn’t what was important.
“Well,” Blake said, “that was epic. Epically wrong, of course, but …”
“Yeah,” Harlan said. “I get it. Jennifer. I’m sorry.”
“Maybe you should go back in the bedroom and try again,” Oscar said.
“No.” Jennifer had moved away. “I’m fine. It’s fine. I’m just ..” She was tearing up again, then heading off down the hall. In the direction of the bathroom, probably.
It took about one minute, during which Harlan tried to think what to say and couldn’t. Jennifer came back with a tissue clamped in her fist and an effort at a smile on her face that hurt him worse than the tears. She didn’t look at him, just sat down on the couch again and said, “So I guess I proved the point, Grandpa, that I’d say no. And Dyma, I think I should say that I was worried about you going to college. About how I’d pay for my part of it, and this helps us do it. You and Annabelle can keep each other company, too.”
“All right, first, Mom,” Dyma said, “you’re not doing some big noble-sacrifice thing for me. I told you, if I have to defer my school for a year, I’ll do it. Or I’ll apply for more loans. I’m not going to get off track. You need to do whatyouwant to do. I can’t believe that’s having another baby, but whatever. If that’s the deal, I’ll help you. You don’t have to ask Harlan.”
It was all delivered with a scowl, but Jennifer seemed to think it was a declaration of love, because she got up and hugged Dyma and said, “Thank you, sweetie. I’m not just taking Harlan up on his offer for you, though. I’m doing it for me. I need to change my life.”
“Well,” Blake said, “that’s one way, I guess.”
“Also,” Jennifer said, “who has theirbosssitting here for their life-implosion? Could this be a little more awkward, please?”
“Probably not,” Dakota said, “but it’s OK. Blake’s used to screwing up his life.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” she answered. “I’m used to it myself, if it helps.”
Dyma said, “There’s a problem with this plan, though.”
“Only one?” Jennifer asked. Still going for the cheerful thing, despite the earlier tears. He had a feeling Jennifer thought she wasn’t strong. He wondered how on earth she could think that.
“That my school year isn’t over,” Dyma said. “If this plan is meant to start soon. Except …” She got a faraway look. “My AP tests are over in about ten days. That’s four classes. You don’t do much in those classes after the exam’s over, and there’d only be another month of school.”
“If you’re asking whether you can share Annabelle’s tutor, the answer’s yes,” Harlan said.
Annabelle said, “That would be so awesome. I mean, I’m glad to be gone from home, but …” She gulped. “Sometimes, it’s a little lonely, you know? Especially with not going to school, and … everything.”
“And,” Dyma said breezily, “if your house is big, you can probably have guests, right, Harlan?”
He said, “If you’re asking if Owen can come to visit, the answer’s no. He’s got his own place in Portland. He can stay there. He’s always telling me it’s better anyway.”
