Page 138 of How You See Me
“Barely holding it together. Did she wake up?”
“She did. Early this morning,” Raidyn says gently, as if bracing me for what’s coming next.
Still, relief surges through me. “Do they know what caused it?”
“Maybe a reaction to her medication. Or . . .”
“Or what?”
“A heart condition.”
“A heart—” The words stick in my throat like shards of glass. “You’re saying she could have a heart condition now? Jesus, Raidyn.”
“It’s only speculation, but yeah.” Her voice fades. “It’s a lot.”
“A lot? It’s too much.” My voice rises before I can stop it. “First Dad shows up like he didn’t abandon us, and now Ava’s heart might be failing? What the hell?”
I close my eyes and squeeze the bridge of my nose as a fresh wave of guilt pulses there.
“I’m sorry. I know this isn’t your fault.” I force my rage to settle with a long breath, sheer willpower making it happen. Not because I feel it less. “I can’t pretend I’m okay anymore.”
“I know.” Raidyn’s voice cracks from her own emotions. “I’m barely holding it together myself.” She’s silent for a beat. “If it helps, she asked for you.”
That doesn’t help. It makes it infinitely worse.
Weakened from knowing I can't show up for her, I lean against a nearby tree and use it to guide me to the ground. My head falls into my hands. “She asked for me?”
“Of course, she did. She misses her favorite person.”
Tears sting, and I blink hard to stop them. “I miss her, too. All of you. I wish I was there.”
“Don’t lie. You’d miss out on this time with Josie.”
A crunch of footsteps behind me lets me know Josie’s approaching.
“It’s about time you let someone in,” Raidyn continues. “She must be special.”
“Understatement of the year.”
“I can’t wait to meet her. Hurry home to us, Hayes. It’s been long enough.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do, Ray. But everyone tells me to stay away.”
“You’re giving Ava something to look forward to each day. You’re the only one who can do that.”
“I could do the same by her side.”
“Maybe, but it’s time to find out. Finish her trip and come home.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Love you, sis.”
“Love you more,Sprinkles.” She lets out a weighted chuckle before ending the call.
I get back to Josie waiting nearby, arms crossed like a shield. “Everything okay?” she asks from a safe distance away and I hate that. But I can’t summon the strength to change it either.
“They think it’s either her medication or a heart issue. Too early to tell.”
“That poor child.”
