Page 150 of Save You
Ruby
I read the email once.
And again.
And then a third time.
I read it again and again until the letters start to blur together and I have to blink.
“Mum,” I say.
Mum makes an inquiring sound.She’s sitting next to me at the kitchen table, flicking absentmindedly through a homeware catalog.
“Mum,” I repeat, more urgently this time, pushing my laptop toward her, the email open.
Now she looks up.“What?”
I hold my breath, pointing fiercely toward the computer.Mum’s gaze follows my finger.Her eyes flit over the screen.She pauses and looks at me, then back to the screen.The next moment, she claps her hands to her mouth.“No way,” she breathes quietly.
I nod.“Yes way.”
“No!”
“Yes!”
Mum jumps up and flings her arms around me.“I’m so proud of you!”
I hug her back and shut my eyes.I try to do what I always did when I was little—I concentrate really hard so that I’ll always remember this moment.I drink in Mum’s scent, the sound made by the oven, the aroma of baking scones, and the immeasurable joy that floods through me as I realize that my most heartfelt dream has come within touching distance.
“I’m so happy,” I mumble into her shoulder.
Mum strokes my back.“You deserve it, Ruby.”
“I need to start applying for bursaries and a student loan,” I say, not letting go of her.
Her embrace is firmer than ever.“There’s plenty of time for all that.You don’t have to think about it all at once.Now—”
She’s interrupted by the doorbell.
“Will you get that?”she asks, pulling away.“Ember must have forgotten her key.Then you can tell her your good news right away.”
I nod and take the corner into the hall so fast that the rug skids over the wooden floor and I hit my shoulder on the coatrack.But even that can’t stop me from flinging open the door, a grin on my face…
…that immediately freezes to ice.
James is on the doorstep.He’s in the middle of running a hand through his hair, and—just like me—he stops dead in mid-movement.His cheeks are slightly flushed, and his breath is forming little clouds in the icy winter air.It looks like he’s on his way to an important meeting, or one’s just finished.
I want to slam the door in his face.
And I want to hug him.
Maybe it’s just as well that I’m incapable of doing anything.I just stare at him, feeling my heartbeat quicken at the sight of him.
“I…” he begins, but his voice dies away.
I remember the day he turned up under the pretense of bringing me the dress for the Halloween party.Then I could see him fighting an internal battle with himself, and it’s the same now—his innermost feelings want to be set free, but he can somehow never quite let that happen.
“I can’t go on like this, Ruby,” he suddenly bursts out.He shakes his head and looks up at me.“I can’t go on like this.”
