Page 95 of Hack
Carter released Faith and turned to his best friend. "I need to do this."
Bryon nodded. "We've been at this a long time. You deserve the break. We created something special in this team, and I'm not talking about the work we do. I'm talking about the friends and family we've brought together. You will always have a place here, and I hope that you'll drop by and visit us, even if it's not to work." Bryon pulled him into a tight hug.
Carter's chest was tight, but he refused to cry. He'd done enough of that over the last month. Leaving was going to be hard, but it was what needed to happen. He had to walk away. He couldn't keep doing what he had been and stay in the right frame of mind. He needed a life outside of the team. He needed to breathe a little and try to forget the evil that lurked around every corner. With Archer by his side, he would be able to do that.
He spent the next hour listening to everyone support his choice, and it was a relief that they didn't fight him on it. Leaving was going to be hard, and he was sure there wouldn't be a single night where he wasn't wondering what the team was doing, but for his own sanity, he needed to walk away.
He'd crossed a line by killing Lyle. It was a line he'd sworn when they started the team that they would never cross unless their lives were in danger. The circumstances were different for Lyle, but that didn't matter. He'd let his emotions get the best of him. He should have let Archer call in the FBI and let the court system handle things. He'd fucked himself up by killing Lyle, but it was good to know that he didn't have a killer inside him. The guilt he suffered from what he did was immense, and he would be talking about it for a long time in the counseling sessions he still planned on continuing to attend once a month.
"You okay?" Archer came up behind him, wrapping his arms around him.
"Yeah, it's a relief, you know?"
Archer turned him so they were face to face. "I just need to make sure you're doing this for you and not for me. You know I'd never ask you to quit."
"I know, and it's all for me. I can't keep it up. We found Angel's killer, and that was honestly what this was about for me from the beginning. Sure, it took on a life of its own, but it was how I lived with the not knowing. Now, it's time to walk away. The team is in a good place for me to do this. I want us to have time together, and I want to travel. There's a whole world out there to see, and if you'll go with me, I'd like to start exploring it." He leaned his head against Archer's shoulder. "I need to let go of my hate, and the only way I can do that is to not be here all the time finding new things to focus my hate on. The team can call if they need us, but for now, I'd like to remember how to live. Remember how to love."
"I love you." Archer brushed a kiss over his forehead.
"Get a room," Beau teased as he walked by them.
"I say we take his advice. What do you say? Ready to go home?" Carter asked.
"I'd like that."
Carter pulled back, glad to make his escape from the team house. He'd be back soon to make sure Matt and Trenton didn't have questions, and he'd come in to keep their systems secure, but for now, he was walking away and not looking back for a while. He needed the time with Archer.
He wanted to build something with him, and that meant taking the time together to do it. His tunnel vision was bad when he worked on a case. Leaving meant he wouldn't get distracted and could give Archer the attention he deserved.
While everyone was busy, he snuck them out the door. This wasn't goodbye, and he didn't want to risk having anyone act like it was.
With Archer by his side, they headed home.
