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And there's no way back either. We knew that when we signed up to become a colonist, but still, there was always the slight chance of catching a ride on the ship back to Earth. They always did have a spare lifepod on board in case one of us got chronically ill and had to be brought back.
Not any longer. We're stuck.
***
THE SEVEN OF US AREsitting around the war table. That's what we've started calling one of the large tables in the common room. One of the tables is for eating, one for casual sitting, and this one for planning our next move. It's a sombre mood all around; it has been ever since we lost contact with Earth. Before, we usually talked to them once a day, just checking in or getting the latest updates about the Drowning. Now, it's nothing but silence.
"How are the plants looking?" I ask Will.
"We're getting there, slowly," he says with a grim smile. He's been having a hard time bringing the plants I let die back to life. "Together with the dried goods, we'll survive. Hopefully, in a few months we'll be able to have the greenhouses back at full capacity again."
I sigh in relief. Last week, he didn't sound as confident. I'm glad to step away from all the gloom and doom. Maybe we won't starve after all.
"Jordan, how about the filtering system?"
"All back to normal. I found the fault and Bastian helped me fix it. The air should be less smelly from now on."
I nod in approval. We've become quite the team. Everybody knows their tasks, but when we need help, the others are always ready to assist.
"Toby, how's our storage looking?"
The cook grimaces. "Not as full as I would like. I've managed to pickle some vegetables and have found a way to dry-freeze fruit. It will help keep them safe to eat for longer while our harvest isn't as regular as it should be."
"Good. Let me know if I can help at all. Han, when are your check-ups planned for?"
"I've put appointments in all your calendars." He gives us a cheeky smile. "Don't be late. I'd hate to have to reschedule all my hundreds of other patients."
It's part of the colony regulations to have medical check-ups once a month. Not just for our own benefit, but also for research. We're the first generation of Mars settlers, so the scientists on Earth will want to know what effect living on another planet has on our bodies. So far, not much has happened that they didn't expect in advance. And now, they'll no longer be interested - but we're keeping up the routine, which means we're all getting examined by Han this week.
I'm having daily talks with him anyway. I suggested to reduce the time I spend with him, but he made the good point that he doesn't have much else to do. I think it's become more of an hour to chat between friends than a therapy session. He's told me a lot about himself, and I've opened up to him in return.
"Jim, what do you have planned this week?"
He's both the oldest and the quietest of the men. I've had a few chats with him, but he usually keeps his opinions to himself. He listens to everything though, and I'm sure that he's forming his own assessments of everything. I feel like I'm not able to reach him. He's keeping everyone at a distance, spending most of his time in the lab. He's a scientist, like Will and Jordan, but while they are open with what they do, Jim is very secretive. He's been very interested in the virus though and has been researching the vaccine I made. I've had to donate some of my blood for his experiments, seeing as I'm the only one who ever got in contact with the virus. He says he's going to make sure that we're better prepared if the virus ever returns. He's searching for a cure, just in case. We still don't know where it came from, and may likely never know.
"I'd like a blood test from everyone, I want to check your antibody counts," he says in his curt, gruff manner.
"Oh no, why do you have to play vampire again?" Bastian exclaims playfully. "Don't you still have enough blood from the last time you drained us dry?"
Jim's mouth twitches.
"It's all stored in my coffin," he says drily. "So unless you want to stake me, please come to the lab at some point tomorrow."
"Jim, can you take enough for my own blood tests?" Han asks. "That way they only need to be poked once."
"Of course."
"Thank the bloody Martian sands. I hate needles." Bastian shudders.
If only he knew how often I had to take my own blood while concocting the vaccine...
"Bastian, do you need any help?" I ask him, having mentally ticked off all the others in my head. It's hard to keep track of six men sometimes. At least they all have very different tasks and personalities. And I have a different relationship with all of them. While I once blindly loved them all during my deluded phase, I've learned to differentiate. Not that I couldn't love them. They're all kind, funny and generous in their own way. Some, like Bastian and Han, have become very close friends.
The others, friends on the way to more.
But is what I feel real? Or is it just the remnants of my craziness?
I can't trust myself anymore. Usually, I'd ask Han about what's real and what isn't. But not with this. I don't want to talk about my relationship with the others with Han. It's too personal. Too embarrassing in case I'm imagining it all. Maybe I'm wearing rose-coloured glasses, showing them to me in the best possible light. Letting my heart hope for an end to my loneliness.
