Page 114 of Home Town Advantage
“You know we’re so much more than that.” He pauses briefly as a small smile finds his face. “I remember reaching for your hand the last time we were in here. So many years ago. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed. It was the moment I realized there was something more between us. It freaked me out a little. I didn’t want to feel that way about you. I kind of felt like a perv.”
I sigh. “Maybe we’re just old friends who went through the same horrible event, clinging to each other as a safety net. A comfort.”
He shakes his head. “We’re so much more than childhood friends with a shared trauma. We both know that.”
Tears freefall from my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs. “For some reason, it felt like a betrayal. I wanted to. I planned to. Eventually.”
I whisper-cry, “I can’t believe he knew. Is this why you didn’t push for custody and take her to court?”
He nods. “Yes. All she ever had to do was demand a paternity test, and then I’d be erased from Francesca’s life. I don’tknow who her biological father is. Trust me, I searched, but Finn was prepared to raise her as his own, so I was too. Maddie takes my checks and shuts me out. She’s got me by the balls.”
I breathe heavily, gasping for air. “I don’t want that for you. It’s not right. She needs to give you something.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “God, I hate her so much right now,” I cry. “He’d be alive if it wasn’t for her.”
He nods as pain stretches over his face. “I know. It’s hard not to hate her. I try not to because she’s Francesca’s mother, but I fail every single day. I get physically sick at the sight of her and the sound of her voice. I’m sorry you have to relive this nightmare. I’ve been trying my best to avoid that for you.”
Tears stream down my cheeks like a faucet. “You’re not the one who should be sorry. If it’s permission you’re seeking to cut her off, or at least threaten it, you certainly have it from me.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t do that. Ever. It would only hurt Francesca. You think Finn would want that?”
Vance is such a good man. I’ve spent all these years thinking just the opposite. This is such a mindfuck.
Tears begin spilling from his eyes, and his shoulders shake. I can’t help but move closer so I can hold him.
I’ve been so caught up in my own feelings over what’s happened today that I haven’t taken the time to consider his. How this lie has negatively impacted his entire life.
He struggles with his words as he whisper-croaks, “I should have paid for everything. If I did, he’d still be here. He’d be alive today.”
And then he starts sobbing. Sobbing in a way I’ve never seen from him, not even that day at the construction site.
I hold him close to me, pulling his head to my chest. “Let it all out.”
I give him the time he needs to cry for everything that has gone on and how it’s impacted him. I think it’s seven years of emotions finally pouring out of him. He needs this.
Once he begins to calm down, he looks up at me withembarrassment written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”
“It came from years and years of carrying this burden, a burden that wasn’t really yours to bear. I know my brother. He wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer like you have. And I know for a fact he wouldn’t have accepted a dime from you. Ever.”
“I wish I had tried harder.” He takes a few deep, calming breaths, “Fuck, it feels good to get all this off my chest. I’m not sure I realized how much I needed to.”
I lean over and softly kiss his lips. “I’m glad you did.” I continue to hold him, running my hands up and down his body in a soothing manner. “What now? With Maddie.”
He sighs. “I’m not sure. She’s so difficult. I need to do what’s best for Francesca. But I have no idea what that is. The team gave me emergency family leave. I’m going to stay for another day or two. We can’t remain in this antagonistic state. I want to figure something out with her. I’ve been trying for a long time, but Maddie isn’t easy. It’s always been her way or the highway.”
I squeeze his hand. “I understand that you need this time with them. I’m going to head back to Philly. I need to get out of here. Clear my head. Plus, I have a few team obligations I can’t get out of.”
His eyes study my face. “What about us? Where are we?”
I lick my lips nervously. “Can you give me a minute to take this all in? I spent more than six years hating you, and the past ten months hating myself for feeling the way I do about you. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, history has been rewritten. I need time to process it all.”
His shoulders fall. He’s disappointed, but my brain is too foggy to make any decisions about my future right now.
I rest my head on his shoulder. “Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Why were none of you surprised to see MeeMaw watching porn? Hardcore porn.”
