Page 116 of Home Town Advantage
“How?” I ask. “How do I ever find common ground with the woman who’s responsible for his death? If she didn’t cheat on him, he’d still be alive. I don’t see a way forward with Maddie.”
She gives me a knowing smile as she rubs my arm. “I have a few ideas. I think you’re finally ready to hear them. It starts with forgiveness.”
Two hours later,I walk into the hospital and then into Francesca’s room. Francesca is still asleep, and Maddie’s curled up in a tiny ball on the chair. Good thing she’s small. I don’t think my leg would have fit on that chair, let alone my whole body.
I walk over to Maddie and look at her sleeping form. I think I prefer her sleeping. She doesn’t talk.
I study her face. I guess most men would consider her to be attractive. She never did anything for me, but Finn was always enamored with her, as were many guys in our hometown.
My mother said a lot of stuff to me this morning that made sense. I’m not truly a parent, so I suppose I didn’t understand some things Maddie said and did. Mom gave me a little perspective. I know Maddie and I need to talk. It’s time. We can’t go on the way we have been.
Her eyes slowly blink open, and she croaks out, “Hey.”
“Good morning. I can stay with her if you want to go home and shower. Maybe deal with your other kids?”
She shakes her head. “No, Curtis can manage them. I won’t leave Francesca. She woke once during the night in terrible pain, scared shitless. They had to give her another sedative. I hate her being on all these drugs. If she wakes again and I’m not here, she’ll freak out. I refuse to leave her.”
I nod in understanding. “You’re a good mom, Maddie.”
She lifts an eyebrow. “I must be delusional from sleep deprivation. Did you just compliment me?”
I twist my lips. “I guess I’ve been a little hard on you. I’m sorry.”
She blinks a few times. “Are you on drugs too?”
I chuckle. “No.”
“Can you say that all again into my good ear?” She reaches for her phone. “Wait, I want to get it on video.”
I smirk as I roll my eyes at her dramatics. “Can we talk?”
She sits up and stretches her back and arms as she yawns. “Of course. I don’t want to fight, though. I don’t have it in me right now.” She slouches, almost in defeat. “I’m exhausted. Physically and emotionally. You were right about the ATV. Curtis is getting rid of it today. I made a mistake. She was excited, and I was happy to see her happy. Never again.”
“I’m not here to fight. I come in peace. I promise.”
She tucks her hair nervously behind her ear and says, “Oookay,” as she eyes me skeptically.
I pull up a chair and sit so we can talk eye to eye. “I’ve been thinking about how things are with us. It’s not good for anyone. You. Me. Francesca. I want to make some changes.”
“Like what?”
“I want a real role in her life.”
She starts to talk, but I hold up my hands. “Let me finish. I know I’m not her father. I know I’m not here for her like a father should be. I won’t accept all the blame for that, you’ve blocked my access, but I accept the blame for how I talk to you. I also understand why you want her to have a consistent father figure. You’re right about that. All I want is what’s bestfor her. I’d like you to introduce me to her as an uncle. When I’m in town, I want to see her. I want to be able to talk to her on the phone, dote on her, and send her gifts like uncles often do.”
She appears to digest what I’m saying. At least it’s not an automatic no.
I continue, “I’m not going to write checks anymore. What I’m going to do is set up a trust fund for her. College will be paid for. Dance classes, sports teams, prom dresses, clothing, anything she needs, you can draw from the trust. The O’Sheas will be the trustees. Finn was prepared to raise Francesca as his own. They know that now. They knoweverything. I’d like you to consider giving them access to her if they want it. I’m not demanding it, but I’m asking you to consider it.”
She nods. “I’ve never blocked them from seeing her.”
“I know. They didn’t have all the facts then. They do now. I realize what this means for your luxurious lifestyle?—”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she holds up her hand. “Stop.” She exhales a long breath. “I know what you think of me. What you’ve always thought of me. Not a single day goes by that I don’t have to live with the burden of knowing my actions in some way caused him to die. It obviously wasn’t intentional, but I’m not ignorant to it. I’m a human being, Vance. I have a heart. It eats at me, but I put one foot in front of the other for my children. I don’t control the past, so I focus on the future. I won’t lie to you, at the beginning, I was happy to take and use your money to live high on the hog. I’ve never had money, and it was nice not to worry about it for the first time in my life. I know you don’t think we work. Curtis works. He might not make the kind of money you do, few people do, but he makes an honest living. And I’ve been slowly taking college classes online. When my youngest goes to school, I plan to get a job. For the past two years, I’ve set aside most of the money you sent in an account for Francesca’s future. I suppose it’s a less fancytrust-type thing. What you’re proposing sounds more than reasonable to me.”
If you told me the apocalypse was coming tomorrow, I’d be less surprised than I am by these revelations. Perhaps I’ve been seeing her wrong, like my mother suggested. Perhaps I’ve hated her for so long that I couldn’t see past certain things. She’s clearly grown up. I think it’s time for me to do the same.
I take her hand in mine. “I owe you an apology. I’ve vilified you for a long time. I was wrong. I’m admitting I was wrong. You made a youthful mistake. We all do. I certainly made my share.”
