Page 12 of Home Town Advantage
His unique Vance scent immediately fills the small space. I’d know he was in a room before I saw him. He has always smelled exactly the same. It’s not cologne or anything fake. It’s VanceMcCaffrey. It’s woodsy, spicy, and masculine. Too bad they can’t bottle it.
He sits directly across from me with his knees bent in a similar position to mine. Our shoe-covered toes are nearly touching.
“How are you holding up, Gully Sulley?”
My eyes fill with tears as I answer honestly. “Like my heart was physically ripped out of my chest. Like there’s a gaping hole that will never be filled.”
He blows out a long breath as his eyes brim with unshed tears. “Me too, kiddo. Me too.”
I flinch at the wordkiddoand he notices. “Sorry, it was just an expression. I know you’re not a kid anymore.”
I’m used to sarcastic remarks from Vance, but his red-rimmed green eyes convey nothing but sincerity. I know he’s hurting as much as I am.
I croak out, “I don’t know how to do life without him, Vance. He was my biggest cheerleader. He lifted me up when I was down. He told me what I needed to hear in my moments of self-doubt. He protected me. I feel so…unsafe without him.”
Vance visibly swallows as he reaches for my hand. It’s the first time in my life that he’s ever held my hand in a tender way. Our fingers thread together perfectly. His touch warms my soul in a way I can’t describe.
He squeezes it. “I know I’ll never be half the man Finn was, but if you let me try, I want to be all those things for you. I promised that if something ever happened to him, I’d always look out for you and Maddie. I intend to honor that promise.”
“You two talked about him dying?” I ask.
Vance licks his dry lips. “I never wanted to, but he always brought it up.Allthe time.Everyconversation. Protecting the two of you was the most important thing in the world to him.”
I bite back my tears. “Now it’s three. Do you know if Maddie told him about the baby?” I hope she did. I hope he knew he was going to be a father.
He has an indecipherable look on his face. “You’d have to ask Maddie.”
Maddie hasn’t spent much time at the house since we got the news of Finn’s death. She’s barely spoken to us. It’s kind of weird. You’d think she’d want to be close to us. Perhaps she’s grieving in her own way.
I nod. “I just hope she lets us be close with the baby.”
We’ve never been particularly close to her. Frankly, I never understood what my brother saw in her. He was too good for her. I hate myself for thinking that, but it’s what I’ve always felt deep inside, not that I’ve ever outwardly expressed it to anyone.
He squeezes my hand again. “You should talk to her. Don’t worry about money for the baby. I’ll take care of all its needs.”
I squeeze his hand in return. “Thank you for always being such a good friend to him. Hopefully I’ll go pro in four years, and then I’ll be able to support the baby too. If you can help until then, I promise to pay you back every cent.”
The corner of his mouth raises slightly. “No need. You just keep your head down and play ball. I’ll take care of the rest. And if you need anything at all, please don’t ever hesitate to ask.”
I exhale a long breath before admitting, “He left me the cabin. I’m not sure why me and not Maddie. Maybe his will is old. Maybe it was drafted when they broke up. I was thinking I should sell it and give the money to Maddie for the baby.”
Vance immediately shakes his head. “Absolutely not. We both know how much he loved that place. Donotsell it. I told you, Maddie will be taken care of. Don’t worry about that.”
I nod, knowing he’s right. Finn wouldn’t want me to sell it. “I’m not sure I’d have the heart to do it. When the baby comes, maybe he or she can spend time there.”
Vance smiles. Something I’ve rarely ever seen. “I think Finn would love that.”
For some reason, the image of Finn’s baby in Finn’s house without him there sets me off into a fit of loud, uncontrollable sobs. Vance momentarily freezes before awkwardly moving hisbody next to mine and holding me. “Let it out, Sulley. It’s okay to cry. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”
I let my head fall onto his chest and cry for what feels like hours until I must pass out.
When I blink my eyes open, I'm in my bed. I have no idea how I got here. Is there any chance the past week has been a nightmare?
I can feel that I’m wearing what I wore to the wake. This is real. Finn is gone.
Could Vance have carried me? I’m not a small woman. I’m six feet tall. While my future college coach wants me to put on about twenty-five pounds of muscle before I get there, I’m not light.
I realize my head is still buried in Vance’s broad chest. I look up and he’s staring down at me. He whispers, “Sorry. I carried you to bed, but you asked me to stay with you. And then you fell back asleep on my arm. I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
