Page 30 of Home Town Advantage
Daylen snaps his head toward Hank, and they give eachother bemused looks. Jagger whines, “Oh no, don’t start this. It’s so embarrassing.”
Daylen and his dad have a thing of tradingyo mamajokes back and forth. Daylen said it started as a way to make him smile after his mother passed but has continued as their fun little thing. It goes on and on until one of them laughs. It’s basically a contest to get the other to laugh first.
Hank wipes his mouth with his napkin as he stares at Daylen. “Yo mama is so hot; her bone structure is givingmybone structure.”
Ashleigh giggles and Jagger hides her face in mortification, but Daylen remains straight-faced before eventually responding, “Yo mama is so ugly; she has to roofie her vibrator.”
I can’t help but let out a laugh at that one, but Hank remains stoic as he thinks for a few hard beats before saying, “Yo mama is so slutty; she wanted to role play as a washing machine so she could have my dirty load inside her.”
Daylen spits out in extremely loud laughter while Jagger shouts, “Ohmigod, Dad! That’s disgusting!”
Hank eventually matches Daylen’s laugh while Ashleigh giggles and happily watches the interaction. I’m honestly not sure if she even understands the jokes.
After an always amusing Humblecut meal, Daylen and I insist on washing the dishes until there’s a knock at the door. Jagger pops out of her seat. “It’s Will. I’ll get it.”
Daylen turns to me. “It’s go time.”
I nod. “Yep.”
A skinny punk with too many piercings and baggy jeans sitting halfway down his non-existent ass walks into the kitchen. His shit-eating grin immediately drops when he’s met with two giant football players staring at him like they want to kill him, along with a Doberman who Daylen has given the guard dog signal to.
Jagger rolls her eyes. “Ignore them, babe. They’re nothing but big softies. All three of them.”
Daylen lets out a low grumble from deep in his chest while I puff out mine. We’re a combined five hundred plus pounds of muscle staring down at a kid who can’t weigh more than a hundred and thirty pounds.
We basically spend the next hour scaring the kid shitless. I can now guarantee he won’t fuck with Jagger Humblecut ever again.
This is the most fun I’ve had in a while.
EIGHT
SULLEY
We’re almost done with practice, but I’m barely able to participate. Coach Lakshmi tells me to go see our team’s physical therapist to work on the finger I jammed during our game last night. I scrunch my face in disgust. No one on the team likes the PT, Noah. He’s a little handsy with us.
I’m alone in the training room with him as he manipulates my finger. I wince at some point, and his face falls. “I’m going to grab you some ice. I think you should buddy tape it for a bit so it doesn’t get worse. It’s not broken, just a little bruised.” He moves behind me and rubs my shoulders. “You should be fine in a few days.”
“She’s here for her finger, not her shoulders, Noah,” Kennedy declares as she walks into the room.
“I was trying to soothe her, Kennedy,” he responds.
She makes a jerkoff motion with her fist. “Whatever. Make yourself useful. Grab me some ice for my ankle.”
“What’s wrong with your ankle?” he asks. “Do you need me to examine it?”
She gives him an exaggerated fake smile. “No. It’s nothing foryouto worry about. Do your job, med-school wannabe. Fetch. The. Ice.”
He narrows his eyes at her before turning toward the ice-making machine. She gives him the finger behind his back as she sits next to me.
“What’s wrong with your ankle?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Nothing. I didn’t want you to be alone with him. He’s a walking episode ofDateline.”
I study her carefully. “You confuse me. You’re the world’s biggest bitch but you also manage to be an incredibly thoughtful person.”
She mock wipes the dust off her shoulders. “You flatter me.”
I smile. “I’m not sure I meant it as a compliment. At least not the first part.”
