Page 73 of Home Town Advantage
She scowls. “Not tall enough to dunk. I’ve worked so fucking hard on my vertical for the past three months.” She points an accusatory finger at Shay. “Tongue-fu master barely has to jump and the bitch can dunk.”
Shay grabs her stomach and doubles over in laughter. “Tongue-fu master? Fucking classic, Darth Vader. I need to text Alyssa that one.”
Kennedy deadpans, “Who do you think taught me the term? That’s what my new bestie calls you behind your back.”
“For real?” Shay asks with a proud look on her face.
Kennedy smiles and winks as Layla offers a hand to help her off the ground. She then smacks Kennedy on the ass. “You’ll get it eventually. I have faith.”
“At least you can reach the rim,” I offer, “I can’t even get up that high.”
Kennedy twists her lips. “I’m not giving up. My goal is to dunk this season. I refuse to quit until it happens.”
A phone alarm starts ringing, and Layla runs over to the bench and pulls out a packet of birth control pills, quickly washing one down with a gulp of bottled water.
She looks at all of us. “What? I have mommy brain right now. I swear, being a mother makes you significantly dumber. I need an alarm to remember to do everything, including taking birth control. No more bambinos for a while.”
Kennedy asks, “Why doesn’t Presley just wear condoms?”
Layla shrugs. “Not sure. We never even considered going back to condoms. He hates them. We haven’t used them since we first started dating.”
My mind goes straight to Vance and my complete and total irresponsibility. I haven’t used condoms at all with him. What the hell am I thinking?
Kennedy interrupts my self-loathing. “Women can get pregnant once in nine months, but men can impregnate countless women in nine months. Shouldn’t birth control be for men?”
Shay sighs. “Like I’ve said before, your brain will be studied one day.”
Kennedy turns to her intern. “Booster, I need some ice for my ass. Go grab me some.”
He nods and answers, “Yes, Queen Jeffries,” before heading into thelocker room.
As soon as he disappears, I ask, “Why do you make him wear sweatpants and a T-shirt that are both clearly a size too small?”
She shrugs. “Why have the women at Hooters had to wear those barely there uniforms for decades? Why do cocktail waitresses at clubs wear short skirts? Men have been doing it to women for years and years. It’s my turn for payback. Revealing gray sweatpants are our Hooters tops.”
A few hours later,the doorbell rings, signaling my first houseguest besides Layla. I open the door to see Daylen with a celery stick poking out of his mouth. I wonder why he’s always eating celery.
He kisses my cheek and hands me an unwrapped candle in a jar that reads,I hope your neighbors aren’t serial killers.
I smile. “Thank you. Such a beautiful candle with a sweet message.”
He nods. “I thought so.”
Kennedy approaches my stoop right behind him. He turns when he hears her. “Did you bring a better attitude?” he asks her.
“Did you bring a better personality?” she immediately replies.
He holds out his arms like he’s handing her imaginary flowers. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, but the middle one is for you.” At that, he turns his hand and flips her the bird.
She holds her phone up to her ear. “Your village just called. They want their idiot back.”
He shakes his head. “You’re a fucking handful.”
She shrugs. “I might be a handful, but at least my tits are too so that makes up for it.”
He lets out his loud, house-shaking laugh. “I can’t arguewith that. Your rack is your best attribute.” He wiggles his eyebrows as he stares shamelessly and obviously at her chest.
She shoves him to the side as she walks by him. “You’re such a child.”
