Page 8 of Home Town Advantage
Kennedy nods. “I definitely had friends like that in Catholic school.” She looks at Palmer. “What about you, quiet one? What are your red flags?”
Palmer shuffles nervously. She’s the kind of woman who I’m not sure has ever dated. I have no idea whether she’s into men or women. She’s attractive, but so shy and seemingly uncomfortable in her own skin.
She adjusts her glasses. “I don’t know. I suppose I don’t like short guys.”
Kennedy shakes her head. “Six-foot-five guys are short for you. That’s not really a red flag. Give us something else.”
She chews on her bottom lip nervously. “Ummm…well…I’m not sure.”
Kennedy rolls her eyes in obvious annoyance. “This isn’thard. Something that turns you off that might not turn off others.”
I stare at Kennedy, mustering all the strength I can to confront this intimidating woman. “Maybe she’s uncomfortable answering. Leave her alone.”
Palmer shakes her head. “No, no. I want to participate. I saw a guy do something a few weeks ago that was shocking. I…I suppose it could be considered a red flag.”
We all lean toward her in anticipation.
“I saw a guy bite into a KitKat. Right across the four bars. There are natural breaks in a KitKat. Why would someone just bite into it? That’s crazy.” She seems totally appalled at the notion.
We all giggle. Even Kennedy smiles as she admits, “That was unexpected but perfect, Palmer. I accept your answer.”
Palmer has a huge grin as she straightens her shoulders a bit. “Thank you. What about you, Kennedy?” she asks.
Kennedy pulls out her phone and swipes a few times. “I keep a running list in my notes. I have hundreds of them. Hmm. Let me find a good one.” She swipes a few more times. “Ooh. This one is good. Men who know every word to the rap verse from ‘Waterfalls’ by TLC. The chorus is fine, but the rap verse is a huge red flag. There’s no legitimate reason for a man to know that.”
We all burst into hysterical laughter. I can’t help but beg, “Please give us more from your list.”
With a bemused expression on her face, she looks down at her phone and begins to scroll. “I seriously have over a hundred. Men who use Androids, men who take a lot of selfies, and men who call youbabyon the first date. They are all non-starters for me. Oh, and men who love to tell me how they were four-year varsity athletes in high school. I’m like,bitch, I was a Division One All-American athlete and am now a professional athlete, but please tell me about your junior year of high school second-team all-conferenceaward.” She rolls her eyes. “You ladies know who I’m talking about. Even you, Shay.”
We all nod in agreement, Shay included. That’s so true.Allmen love to boast about their childhood athletic prowess as if it remotely compares to ours.
We end up closing down the place as we drink, talk, and laugh for hours until the middle of the night. Even Kennedy warms up a bit. I think. It’s hard to tell with her.
I’ve never had a mix of teammates like these women, but maybe it won’t be so bad. I like that everyone is different but we have a common love for the sport of basketball and an understanding of the hard work and sacrifices made along the way. For the first time, I’m truly excited about my big move to Philly.
THREE
VANCE
Presley grunts as Beau easily helps him place the heavily weighted bar back in its slot on the bench in our team gym. Presley Ladrón, who we often all call Elvis for obvious reasons, is our placekicker. He’s the smallest guy on the team, though he can probably out-squat nearly everyone. He’s Latino, with brown hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. Beau Fudd, on the other hand, is massive. He’s a defensive end who must be at least six feet, eight inches and over three hundred pounds. He could probably bench the weighted bar Presley was using with Presley still attached to it. He grew up in a military family and has always worn his dirty-blond hair buzzed short. He’s a bit of a dichotomy. He’s built like a beefcake but happens to be highly intelligent. He’s been working toward his PhD while playing ball. He believes there’s a science to building muscles and is always sharing things with us to help us along.
Presley looks at both Beau and me. “Are you guys good to come out tonight? Layla was pissed at me this morning when I told her I hadn’t asked you yet.”
Beau and I exchange knowing glances as I quip, “She’s always pissed at you, Elvis.”
The two of them have a love-hate relationship. The Bickersons, as I often call them, are constantly going at each other, though it’s usually in Spanish so we can’t understand them. Just as quickly as it starts, it turns sexually charged. Five seconds after yelling at each other, they’re practically having sex in public. They give me whiplash sometimes.
He shakes his head. “Nah. Now that we permanently live in the same place, it’s so much better. I think the dual residency was wearing on us. She’s only gotten truly pissed at me once this week. We were having lunch at a café. I could tell she wanted a meaty burger, but she’s so uptight about dropping those last few pounds of baby weight. I told her not to worry about a salad and to get the damn burger. Unfortunately, the waiter was standing there, so Layla snapped at me for being a Neanderthal and telling her what to order in front of him. I swear, women want their hair pulled, to be choked, and your handprint on their ass, but they go feral if you try to tell them what to do in public.”
I chuckle. “That’s true.” As I do my seated, one-arm bicep curls, I add, “I feel like you were being nice by saying that.”
He nods. “I know. Honestly, I was kind of annoyed at her over-the-top reaction. She realized her mistake at some point.”
“Did she apologize?” I ask.
He lets out a laugh. “Women don’t apologize. When they know they were in the wrong, they crawl into bed naked to gauge your level of anger.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down. “I’ll never be angry enough with her to miss out on naked time with my beautiful angel. Even after all these years together, that woman still does it for me in a big way.”
I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that Layla is sexy as hell. I certainly wouldn’t know what it’s like to be with the same person for so long. I haven’t had a serious relationship in years, and obviously none as serious as Presley and Layla’s.
