Page 50 of The Cruelest Kind of Hate
CALISTA:Ugh. They’re a 34DD.
GAGE:That was going to be my next guess.
GAGE:Also, can you tell your tits I love them?
October 18th,Friday, 9:41 a.m.
CALISTA:Gage, since when did your contact have a heart by it?
GAGE:Aw, Cali. I’m flattered.
CALISTA:No, dickwad. I obviously didn’t put it there.
GAGE:Ohhh. Did you put an eggplant instead? For my giant penis?
CALISTA:I actually put a shrimp.
GAGE:That’s hurtful. And very untrue.
CALISTA:Did you somehow unlock my phone with your gremlin fingers?
GAGE:I have no idea what you’re talking about, and frankly, I don’t appreciate being accused.
CALISTA:You’re a second away from being blocked.
GAGE:And? I know where you live. I know exactly what apartment number is yours.
CALISTA:Is that a threat?
GAGE:Do you want it to be?
CALISTA:I’m changing your contact name to STUPID WHORE.
GAGE:I love how you have little nicknames for me. *kissy face emoji*
CALISTA:Every day I pray that murder will be legal.
GAGE:It would be an honor to die by your hands.
CALISTA:Don’t think you’ll like it that much when I’m choking the life out of you.
GAGE:On the contrary, I’llfucking love it.
October 20th,Friday, 8:11 p.m.
GAGE:Come outside. I have something for you.
CALISTA:I’m not home right now.
GAGE:I know. You’re at the studio.
CALISTA:Ugh, you’re such a creeper.
CALISTA:How do you even know that?
GAGE:It’s actually this really cool thing called the internet. Invented in 1983 by some crazy computer scientist dude.
CALISTA:Hardy fucking har.
